I found this article very helpful. My stbx is VERY good at this. Every time I see him he says something manipulative. He has a covert aggressive personality. I actually felt like I was reading all about him. It was scary.
Q...to to "Group Info Database" in the column to the left, then into "Abusive/Controlling Relationships"...scroll down and the article is there. I read it yesterday. Was a bit overwhelming to me, but I could see my ex in some of it. Worth the read.
I liked the phrase "selective innattention" to describe "pretending to be a dumb-ass". Earlier today, Fairfriend was talking about "selective innattention" in another thread.
