Remember this post? Well, I am following this woman's story. I think I am so rivetted because the therapist they are seeing seems so bang-on with his 'take' on infidelity. Anyway, this woman saw the MC individually. This woman is still REALLY pissed off at her husband and is struggling with reconciling with her husband.
This is what her therapist told her:
<<We talked about my disgust with my husband. He says alot of that is anger at myself for staying. That my mindset has been, cheat, your gone. That I have to forgive myself for not reacting the way I thought I would react. That my mind is at war with itself. That made sense.>>
I read this and I was almost numb....this statement had quite an impact on me. I think it's so true (at least in my case). I don't think about the specifics of H's affair as much as I used to...yet I am still angry as hell and disgusted with him. Yes - I have triggers...but not on a daily basis. On a 'regular' day (where there are no triggers) I am still angry. Again...this hit the nail on the head for me.
I'm going to give you my quick take on one aspect of anger that has stayed with me since D-day over 5 years ago. I HATE that A's happen, I HATE that my H had an A, I HATE A's -period. I'd like to smash all affairs into little bits. Obviously I can't do that, so I think sometimes I transferred that hate onto my H and the OW. Does that make any sense?
Anyway, big ugly anger can be scary. So can depression and all the other negative feelings that come from an A.
I think someone should make a bumper sticker that reads, "Warning, affairs can be deadly to your health."