I've been gone for a few days so I'm trying to catch up. I had a good weekend with my H. We went away for a night and it was refreshing. I think I have said earlier that a lot of his A revolved around phone conversations,I came to loathe his cell phone,every time it would ring or every time he would get a text my heart would jump into my throat and I would go into panic mode. That phone, to me atleast, was the heart of the A. I know that sounds crazy but that's how I felt. I talked to him about this and he went the next day and had his number changed. Even though this is a small thing it is a step in the right direction. I do wish though that I could get a rein on my own emotions. I still surprise myself with the range I have and how fast they change. I really just want to be confident again and not analyzing everything he says or does. I realize though that will take time.
We have a wedding to go to this Saturday,I find it a little ironic that his best friend is getting married at the same time that we are trying to repair our marriage but I am looking forward to going. My H has been planning things for us to do together,he has a couple of things planned weeks in advance,this also is a good sign for me. I hope it continues.

Amy

I'm curious what thoughts will be going through your head at this wedding. I also went to one while we were trying to repair and after our separation and there were lots of things going on inside my head.

You'll have to tell us after they fact. Hope you have fun

Charlie

Yup, we did that too. Had to go to a wedding about 4 months into recovery.

I remember sitting there and all I could think of was my son's DARE T-Shirt with the slogan, "Just Say NO!"

Cory

You are not a human being having a spiritual experience, but a spiritual being having a human experience.

Cory - I hope the wedding goes well. I know what trouble I had listening to those vows and thinking of our own and how meaningless they became.

It sounds like your husband is doing a lot to make this a good experience. It should really help to have activities together than can give you new associations and a feeling of together as you experience this wedding. Good luck to you. -Rob

"Focus on what you have, not what you have lost"

Hey Rob,

A) I'm the husband...

B) That was almost 7 years ago. I'm one of the "old people" (affair recovery age) on the boards.

It took a lot of work, but we're still together. It CAN happen. Something was said on another thread that is so true in all situations. "Recovery" is not so much recovering your marriage, but recovering YOURSELF after this.

Matter of fact, we didn't make much progress in recovery until it go into my head that no matter what happened with my marriage, I was going to be fine.

Nowadays, instead of giving money as a wedding gift, I give the new couple a copy of either "Making Love Stay" or "The Monogamy Myth", both by Peggy Vaughn..

Cory

You are not a human being having a spiritual experience, but a spiritual being having a human experience.

Cory
Actually, I knew that. I don't know what I was thinking. Sometimes the brain cells don't all work together lately. I know no offense was taken, but my apologies just the same.
I didn't realize you had been in recovery so long. It is good to know that it can work. But it takes BOTH sides wanting to try, so it doesn't look that way for me. I have realized and believe that I am going to be OK no matter what. I know I'm worth it. I just don't know how long it's going to be before life starts feeling good again. Time. But I can see in 16 weeks that a lot of progress has been made and most days are better than the ones before.
Don't know if I'm ready for seeing a wedding yet. The last one was quite painful, but that was just a couple of weeks after dday. I'll find a way to make the next one in December a better experience.
-Rob

"Focus on what you have, not what you have lost"