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Top 10 excuses for cheating

October 20 2005 at 1:17 PM
Quinn  (Login Quen10)
Member

... according to Sheri & Bob Stritof.

I don't love you anymore.
It's not you, it's me.
I need some space.
You deserve better.
We were just friends.
You don't listen to me.
You don't need me.
I'm having a mid-life crisis.
I can't help myself.
It doesn't mean anything.

http://marriage.about.com/od/infidelity/qt/topexcuses.htm


 
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RedWolf
(Login Red--Wolf)
ADRa

Re: Top 10 excuses for cheating

October 20 2005, 1:31 PM 

WARNING signs of a cheater.

1 - When they no longer want sex or makes excuses to not have sex.

2 - When they will not allow you access to their computer or they suddenly shut down the computer when you walk into the room. They may password protect their laptop or computer to keep out suspicious eyes. Or they stay up to "work" or "play a game" on the computer after you go to bed. Excessive internet usage, especially late at night, is a red flag.

3 - When they begin to put distance between you or show a lack of interest in what has been the routine with few, if any, excuses for the change in their behavior.

4 - When they suddenly have to work late and have all kinds of new obligations that take them away from home repeatedly or for long periods of time. Or. . . they tell you they are working longer hours and discontinue allowing you to view their paycheck or pay stubs.

5 - If your loved one works with people, such as at a bar or restaurant especially as a waitress or bartender they might suddenly tell you not to visit them at work. This usually means they are hiding something at their workplace whether it be with a co-worker or a regular customer such as at a bar.

6 - When they suddenly need a cell phone or pager and you are discouraged from ever looking at it or using it. They also may make certain their cell phone or pager cannot be answered by you by hiding it or taking it with them wherever they go. They are secretive about their cell phone or pager bill and pay it themselves when you have always paid the bill in the past.

7 - When they arrive home smelling faintly of perfume/cologne or another person's body.

8 - When they arrive home and head straight into the shower or bath.

9 - When they have lipstick or strange hairs on their clothing or in the car. Finding strange phone numbers, receipts or condoms can also be clues.

10 - When they suddenly begin to treat you extremely nice; more so than usual.

11 - When they begin to make "kinky" requests or suggest wildly erotic play during sex including things you have never done before. They may also show an increased interest in sex or sexual things, including porn.

12 - When they talk to you they treat you abusively or with disdain, disrespect or excessive sarcasm. They may also demonstrate an unexplained aloofness or indifference in the relationship. Or. . . they may begin to find fault in everything you do in an attempt to justify their affair.

13 - Her: When she gets spiffed up and dresses provocative to "go grocery shopping" or to "get her hair done." She may also show up with a sudden change of hair style. Him: When he showers, shaves (cologne, deodorant, etc.) and dresses up more than usual to "go out with his buddies" or to "go fishing."

14 - When they break their established routine at work and home for no apparent or logical reason.

15 - When they become suddenly forgetful and you have to tell him/her everything several times; their thoughts are obviously elsewhere.

16 - When they are always tired or demonstrate a noticeable lack of energy or interest in the relationship.

17 - When they begin to intentionally look at or flirt with the opposite sex when in the past, this is something they would not have done.

18 - When you notice that they are reluctant to kiss you or accept your affection.

19 - When they ignore or criticize your affections and thoughtful ways. Example : "Why are you so luvy duvy? I'm just not like that."

20 - When your phone bill shows an increase in unexplained toll or long distance charges. Often when a partner is acting too close or flirting with a best friend of the opposite sex, you will find their phone number listed excessively.

21 - When the passenger seat in the car has been changed and is not in the usual position or the mileage on the car is more than usual. Also increased gas purchases that are inconsistent with the amount of miles on the car.

22 - When they begin to keep a change of clothes hidden in the trunk of the car or an unusual amount of clothes changes at the gym.

23 - When you notice credit card charges for gifts (such as florist or jewelry) that you didn't receive.

24 - When they begin to make sudden and excessive purchases of clothes or an unexplained change in clothing style. Beginning to purchase sexy underwear or lingerie may be a clue.

25 - When you notice an increase in ATM withdrawals. Cheating costs money! To play you must pay!

26 - When you notice that your partner loses their ability and desire to show the children the attention they need or a lack of desire to do any fix-ups around the house, e.g., lawn care, painting, cleaning the garage, house repairs, etc. They might turn this around on you at the same time and accuse you of never doing anything or treating the child/children badly.

27 - When you notice an increased attention to losing weight or paying more attention to their appearance.

28 - When they begin to volunteer to go to the post office, rushes to check the mail before you do or opens up a new P.O. box perhaps without even telling you.

29 - When your partner shows up without their wedding ring or suddenly stops wearing it and makes lame excuses as to why. This also goes for jewelry you might have purchased for them and you catch them not wearing it when they go out when usually they wear it at all times.

30 - When they get mysterious phone calls or when they hurry to answer the phone, leave the room to talk on the phone and when you ask who called, they say, "No one", "Wrong number", or "Why do you care?"

31 - Simple trips, such as to the grocery store or bank, take hours rather than the time it should take.

32 - Your loved one suddenly deletes all emails from the computer where as they used to accumulate. Same goes for calls on the cell phone or caller ID.

33 - Your loved one seems to pick fights or finds reasons to fight only to stomp out of the house and away from you.

34 - You find a diaphragm, condom, birth control, etc., however, you have had either a vasectomy or she has had a tubal ligation.

http://www.cheating-spouse.org/warningsigns.htm


 
 
Quinn
(Login Quen10)
Member

wow!

October 20 2005, 1:33 PM 

Your list is much bigger than my list, RW.

 
 
Anonymous
(Login charlie288)
ADRm

Re: Top 10 excuses for cheating

October 20 2005, 2:07 PM 

Q

Here's a few more to add to your list.

Your too fat/skinny.
Your too opinionated.
Your too headstrong.
Your too controlling.
I'm in love with both of you.

I'll bet this goes on and on, eh?

Charlie

 
 
Quinn
(Login Quen10)
Member

lists

October 20 2005, 4:24 PM 

Thanks, charlie. Now with just 15 more, I'll have almost as many as RW.

>>I'll bet this goes on and on, eh?<<

It's limited only by imagination.

Personally I like:

"I didn't think you'd find out."

"I didn't think you loved me."

"I didn't think you'd mind."

 

and ... last but not least ...

"My childhood sucked."

 

 



    
This message has been edited by Quen10 on Oct 20, 2005 4:25 PM


 
 


(Login Canuck_Kid)

Re: Top 10 excuses for cheating

October 20 2005, 7:23 PM 

OMG OMG OMG

I have heard every single one of those..........is that possible hahahahah


 
 

RedWolf
(Login Red--Wolf)
ADRa

Re: Top 10 excuses for cheating

October 21 2005, 5:17 AM 

"Your list is much bigger than my list, RW."

Sorry Quinn. Size doesn't make a list better. I just thought 'excuses' and 'warning signs' might all be good information. They all merge eventually.



 
 

(Login Sage56)

Re: Top 10 excuses for cheating

October 21 2005, 5:27 AM 

RedWolf...what are YOU doing up at 4am????? Now I understand the name...the lifestyle....nocturnal is the same.

 
 


(Login spirit60)

Re: Top 10 excuses for cheating

October 21 2005, 6:57 AM 

my list was short haha 'we are just friends' yeah right hahaha

oh and losing excessive amounts of weight, going to the gym, and making himself look pretty haha

cheers
kath

 
 
MoeGreen63
(Login MoeGreen63)

Re: Top 10 excuses for cheating

October 21 2005, 7:19 AM 

The lists are dead on. Every excuse on the list and every sign of the affair right on the money. I have seen the costs to me helping to lead to bankruptcy for hotel rooms, gasoline for trips, Hooker clothes and underwear. Chilling. What dirty little people these people are. Just wait OM for when she feels comfortable to get fat and wear moo-moos again.

Here's some...

Excuses:
- You just didn't see me.
- I think you wanted out too.
- We (me/her) were just best friends.
- I didn't fit in to your world.
- I thought you were going to leave me, so I needed him

Signs:
- Lipstick wiped off onto napkins left in the car so as to not get it smeared all over each other.
- Cash advances on credit cards in the amount of standard room rates on days WS had things to do out of town. He paid her back BUT did he include the service charges?
- Extreme car washes right before leaving town to go shopping.
- Phone calls on the bills to hotels



 
 


(Login pizzalady)
Member

Re: Top 10 excuses for cheating

October 24 2005, 11:04 PM 

EXCUSES TO CHEAT

What they say is "We've drifted apart"
What they mean is "I have found someone else who likes to party as much as me, and has no morals and is willing to cheat and sleep with a married person"

What they say is "We are not working towards the same goal"
What they mean is "I am not thinking of you. I am being selfish and having an affair because it makes me feel good about me. In OTW, it's all about ME"

What they say is "I love you but Im not in-love with you"
What they mean is "I love you but I love her/him too and I am so confused. I don't know what I want or feel. Since I am not "in-love" with you my behavior is justified"

What they say is "We want different things out of life"
What they mean is "I want my cake and eat it too and you won't let me"

What they say is "I was jealous of you"
What they mean is "I lost my self-esteem and I needed to screw someone else to find it"

OTHER SIGNS OF A CHEATING SPOUSE

Man who suddenly starts doing his own laundry!
Man who starts thinking about getting his back hair waxed!
Won't look you in the eye when talking to you!
Won't share intimate details of their life with you anymore!
Acts like you don't exist (wishful thinking I guess)!



    
This message has been edited by pizzalady on Oct 25, 2005 12:41 PM


 
 

RedWolf
(Login Red--Wolf)
ADRa

Re: Top 10 excuses for cheating

October 24 2005, 11:53 PM 

Sage,

I hit the ground running at my job at 5am.

There's no rush hour traffic, and my work day is over at 1:30 when some folks are going on a lunch break.

Unfortunately, I often have to sleep a while during the afternoon/evening due to getting up at 3:45am.



One of my top excuses for cheating is 'I was too tired.' I cheat by hitting the snooze button (sometimes twice) and getting 10-20 more minutes of sleep.

 
 

Cory
(Login BlindJustice)
ADRa

Re: Top 10 excuses for cheating

October 25 2005, 6:13 AM 

Another classic one liner:

"I don't why you're upset. It was just sex."

Sometimes when you look back, it's amazing how dumb some of these excuses were...

Cory



You are not a human being having a spiritual experience, but a spiritual being having a human experience.

 
 

Kid
(Login Canuck_Kid)

Re: Top 10 excuses for cheating

October 25 2005, 7:25 AM 

Ummmmmmmmmm Cory........they seemed pretty dumb at the time to me too


 
 

RedWolf
(Login Red--Wolf)
ADRa

Re: Top 10 excuses for cheating

October 25 2005, 8:15 AM 

He said, "I could talk to her in a way that I couldn't talk to you."

I other words, she'd buy his story.




 
 

(Login bobmorbitzer)

Re: Top 10 excuses for cheating

October 25 2005, 12:02 PM 

How about some excuses that women make (well, one woman I know)....


"I've only been with a couple of men and I wanted to know what it would feel like." (With a smaller one?)

"I had a crush on him." (Hell, I have a crush on every woman that walks by me!)

"I thought I was in love with him." (Opposite of the typical male response of, "It was only sex...it's not like I loved her.")

"You were away and I was lonely." (Funny thing, I was away and lonely too....with a LOT more temptation being wagged in my face)

"I could talk to him like nobody else...we had a connection." (Did you try talking to me?)

"In a strange sort of way, I thought it might turn you on." (LOVE that one!)

"It was never about the sex." (Funny how that one came out after all those others that WERE about the sex!)

"You don't passionately French Kiss me anymore."

"I needed to feel that passion again." (Those two are the kickers. The tell-all of ultimate selfishness)

 
 
MoeGreen63
(Login MoeGreen63)

Re: Top 10 excuses for cheating

October 25 2005, 12:48 PM 

The old "I love you but I'm not in love with you". STBXW knew how much I hated this one so she just found different ways to say it.

First wife told it to me. Turns out after 13 years that shortly after we divorced, she remembered she was in love with me. Go figure.

 
 
Bob Morbitzer
(Login bobmorbitzer)

Re: Top 10 excuses for cheating

October 25 2005, 2:16 PM 

Yep...I got that one too. It is probably one of the worst ones.

 
 
Quinn
(Login Quen10)
Member

"anyone ...

October 25 2005, 2:32 PM 

... who needs to go outside their marriage to find passion is in serious trouble"

There's some truth to that although I can't remember where I heard it.

But I also heard the one about "needing passion" too. According to my X, she needed passion the way she needed "air to breath". She always was more of a romantic than me, God bless her.


 
 

(Login Sage56)

Re: Top 10 excuses for cheating

October 25 2005, 2:34 PM 

Here are a few that I heard:

1. You didn't pay enough attention to me.

2. You would never agree with me.

3. You weren't subservient enough.

4. If we hadn't met the Jone's (not real name) we would still be married.

5. There was no passion in the relationship.

6. I am more attracted to her than I am you. (DUH..she's 25 years younger)

 
 
Bob Morbitzer
(Login bobmorbitzer)

Re: Top 10 excuses for cheating

October 25 2005, 9:31 PM 

How about...

"He has a completely different appearance from you." (meaning, "Younger, bigger arms, more hair")

or...

"It was just a fantasy" (as if making up a fantasy about him is carte blanche to have sex with him)

 
 


(Login pizzalady)
Member

Re: Top 10 excuses for cheating

October 26 2005, 3:23 PM 

A few more to add to mine....lets see, my favorite...he said this all in one sentence, even though it is two excuses.

"It was JUST sex and I didn't think you'd find out".

And this one is just ridiculous...

"I had to keep seeing her (for 2 years) because she threatened to tell you if I stopped"

Carol~

 
 

RedWolf
(Login Red--Wolf)
ADRa

Re: Top 10 excuses for cheating

October 26 2005, 4:29 PM 

"I'm wasn't going to spend the rest of my life living without passion!"

Go to the drive-up passion window and order a happy meal.

Drink. Create big problems on the home front. Keep drinking. Then slip out the back door, and hook up with another man's wife at the Super 8 Motel. Drink some more. Create big problems on her home front, and keep on-a drinkin.



Demand passion.


 
 

(Login ccaldwell)

Excuses

October 26 2005, 6:10 PM 

I love the lists. And they are so accurate. This is no doubt things that are obvious with Hind Sight.

Now when I hear a woman or man start telling me about changes in their relationship, I look for exactly these cues. I tell them, "I hate to tell you this, BUT, it appears your 'other half' is having an affair....or getting ready to have one.

Newby's don't know all this. I was the same. Now I look at this list, and there are all the signs that I missed the first time....to the letter.

Almost funny now.

And Fox man....keep the passion alive.....someone will appreciate it and you.

 
 
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