After a long argument over the phone, we agreed to wait until the holidays were over in order to get separated. I was ok with the decision at the time but a few hours later I was furious. To think that I had let him treat me like a door mat and he still has the nerves to want to leave me? When he should be thankful that I have giving him another opportunity. He even tried to have a conversation with me about what I was cooking. And when are we going to address my feelings? I have to let him go. I know. He is no good for me, but there is a side of him that I fell in love with and can’t get out of my heart. I am thankful for this forum in which I can vent a little. I have been very lonely because I am embarrassed about everything that has happened.
Irene, you do not have to be embarrased about any of this. This is nothing wrong with loving someone & trying to make a marriage work. There is also nothing wrong with giving up & getting a divorce when you decide there is no hope.It takes two to make a marriage work. Sounds like you've done more than your share of the work!!!!!!
"He is no good for me, but there is a side of him that I fell in love with and can’t get out of my heart."
Many of us understand that "in love" feeling with our spouses but is your H the same person that you fell in love with?
It is strange because my ex made my life a living hell as well. He also had cheated on me several times but I didn't find out about the first affair until 13 years into our marriage and then found out there were more close to 15 - that was when we split. I couldn't take the lying anymore. I even though I was still in love with him when we split but it became more and more clear, once the fear started to dissipate, that I had been losing it for him for several years because of the way he treated me.
I'm sorry yet another person has had to join us here, but we will help you the best we can. This group helped me tremendously when I was going through my decision to divorce and a separation. I just wanted to say that there is light at the end of the tunnel whether you stay or not. Keep your head up.