My Story

Hubby and I had been having some troubles, but i didn't think it was all that bad - I figured all Ms have rough patches. We are both strong Christians and we had been married 16 yrs. What I didn't know was that a W at work was becoming his "best friend" during all of this. H was also seeming very depressed and showing small signs of OCD as well. I was worried about him - he hadn't seemed like himself in a while and it was just getting worse.
In July of 05 a fight over a sandwich (yes, a sandwich) turned into his asking for a divorce. I was devastated, but he was so far gone I just didn't know what to do. It was then that I discovered (through a little sleuthing of my own) that his "friend" was spending a lot of time with him "helping" him through the situation. He filed for divorce and I moved into an apartment near our house. H then told me that he wanted to "admit" that he was in love with the OW and had been having an emotional affair for a couple of months.. I really sort of washed my hands of him at that point and started to try to move on with my life. I even started dating a wonderful man who had gone through the exact same thing with his ex wife 2 years ago. Still, H had been my best friend for 17 years and we had had a very good M for most of it, so I prayed for him every day and hoped he would get better. I was also concerend because OW is not a good person at all and I felt she was a very, very bad influence on him.
Then, in mid September I got a call from H (our divorce was not yet final). He had finally gone to a psychiatrist and gotten some help and medication. He said, "I have to say something before I lose the guts to say it. I miss you and I still love you." Well, I was in SHOCK. I didn't know what to think. That same day, he broke off all contact with OW and left town for a few days to pray and meditate and try to figure things out. At the time, I was glad he was getting his life straight, but had no intention of going back to him. H started calling me as a friend and I started to soften because I knew he wanted me back. Finally, about 10 days after he broke it off with OW, we talked about the possibility of reconciling. We both cried and prayed and I waffled for 2 more weeks - unsure of what to do. Meanwhile, he stopped divorce procedings.
I moved back home on October 16th, and OW moved out of state just a few days ago! (HOORAY!) H had kept me informed of anytime he had to speak to her at work - but now she's gone!

STILL - we had never had sex with anyone but each other, and now, I have to live with the fact that he filed for divorce because he thought he wanted her AND he did actually have sex with her once I moved out of the house. He is extremely remorseful and attentive and working to make me comfortable. But, it still hurts so much. There is this black mark that won't ever go away, you know? When we were seperated, I had my love interest who had been through what I was going through. But now, I feel so alone (Obviously, I had to say goodbye to the boyfriend!) So, I'm glad I found this thread. I'm hoping this will be some small help.