I am doing alittle better but i still need your alls support. My H is doing all the right things to show me he is sorry, but i still wonder if i am being a fool . I want to believe him but i don't want to be hurt again. He has been leaving me notes around the house,flowers, telling me he loves me all the time ,etc.etc.But i still feel so hurt and betrayed that it is hard to accept his affections.
This was a ONS, (so he says), but it still hurts as much as a full A. My story is in a previous post called HELP! My self-esteem is so low from this that i don't want to leave my house somedays.I have even been having heart problems from stress i think , just heart is racing alot.
I want to love my H again but how do i look at him the same, how do i ever trust him ,how can i stop focusing on the negitive? I am just full of questions, aren't i?
Our MC had me do a mental exercise to try to help with the visuals that i have all the time. It is hard to be intimate with my H without these visuals.I want this rollercoaster to stop...I want off!!!
I realize there was no emotional A here but how could he be with someone who he didn't even know that hurts so bad and makes me feel like i am nothing. God i want the hurt to go away!! If it was a fantasy or not , it still destroyed me, my hopes , my dreams, the way i look at love.
Thanks for listening to me. I really appreciate you all being here. THANKS!!

Kathy

How long since your d-day. I know this isn't what you want to hear but it a lot of it is time. Time and making the choice to trust. Your H is doing a lot more than my H is. I feel the same way you do. I don't want to let you make a fool of my again and it has been 6 months since my d-day. Maybe someone farther past their d-day can give you some better advice. Just take it day by day and take care of yourself.

I understand exactly how you feel. I don't think we ever look at our WS the same way because everything has changed for us. It's a different relationship now so I do look at him differently. Yes my H is the same person, but I never knew the side of him that was capable of doing that to me.

I'm glad you're doing better now and know that you have lots of support here.