Is there a place here for my H to post? You all have been so helpful to me that our MC suggested that he gets on here to see if anyone can help him with his guilt and to be able to find the way to reach within himself to fine the reason why he did this to began with, and to understand that telling the whole truth now is very important. He really is having alot of problems with feeling guilty. He has no one he can talk to but our MC because no one else knows what has happened.Please let me know where he can post!!
Thanks again!!
KAthy

<<<Is there a place here for my H to post?>>>

Yep, he can post on the Open Forum. If you click on HOME at the top of the page it'll take you to all the different forums on this site .

You might want to set some "ground rules" between your H and yourself beforehand. I.E. Will you read each other's posts? Respond to them? Etc.


FOR THE DISCUSSION OF A PARTNER'S AFFAIR ONLY (BETRAYED PARTNER'S ONLY, PLEASE)

DISCOVERY RECOVERY CHAT ROOM
Betrayed partners are welcome discuss their efforts to recover from a partner's affair. This chatroom is accessible from the home page or from the DISCOVERY RECOVERY FORUM and FURTHER RECOVERY FORUM (see below).

DISCOVERY RECOVERY FORUM
Betrayed partners discuss their experiences with the initial devastation and trauma following the discovery of a partner's affair. Subjects such as survival skills, coping with pain and anger, staying healthy and sane are common.

FURTHER RECOVERY FORUM
Betrayed partners who are beyond the initial devastation of discovery discuss long term issues involved in healing from a partner’s affair. Betrayed partners who find themselves growing uncomfortable with reminders of the initial trauma of discovery are especially welcome.

FOR THE DISCUSSION OF EXPERIENCES OF ONE'S OWN AFFAIR OR WITH A PARTNER'S AFFAIR (BETRAYED PARTNERS AND FORMERLY WAYWARD PARTNERS WELCOME)

OPEN CHAT ROOM
Everyone is welcome to discuss any subject. The chat room currently is associated with the Open Forum. It is accessible from the home page (see links at upper left) and from the DIVORCE RECOVERY FORUM and OPEN FORUM (see below).

DIVORCE FORUM
Both betrayed and formerly wayward partners discuss separation or divorce following an affair. Subjects such as the impact of separation on children, loneliness, and legal issues are common.

OPEN FORUM
Betrayed and formerly wayward partners together discuss efforts to recover from the impact of an affair. Wayward partners are welcome to discuss an affair that has ended but posts about a current, ongoing affair are not accepted.

We suggest that betrayed partners be gentle with themselves and avoid reading or posting on the OPEN FORUM, at least initially. If a betrayed partner is upset, we urge her/him not to respond to a post by a formerly wayward partner. Wayward partners post infrequently. Please avoid discouraging them.


MEMBER'S FORUM
Both betrayed and formerly wayward partners describe their personal experiences with infidelity.

SUGGESTION BOX
Criticisms, complaints, and suggestions regarding all forums are discussed here. Alert moderators to problematic posts or threads. Nominate POM’s (Post Of the Month) or TOM’s (Thread Of the Month). Comment on the site, policies, forums, administration, or moderating.

POLICY FORUM
Announcements regarding the purpose of the boards, guidelines for posting, etc. Please post to the SUGGESTION BOX, any comments on the POLICY FORUM (which is "read only").


Regards,

Tex

Kathy, I don't know how others feel about this, but I would not be opposed to his getting on here. Writing the truth sometimes is easier to to than verbally telling the truth. I think this would also provide healing to us as we would be able to see what the other side is going thru, as well as knowing that the pain involved in infedelity is not just one sided. Everyone suffers from it.
Thank you,
Glenda

Glenda, you expressed wonderfully some of the reasons why we have the Open forum. That's the place for BS and WS to come together, to share together, and to HEAL together.

One MAJOR note for newer people. When WS post on the Open board, some of what they say can be quite triggering to those of you still new to affair recovery.

We're pretty laid back around here when it comes to enforcing hard and fast rules. We'd much rather nudge with a gentle reminder now and then, rather than slamming people left and right. We all understand that these are emotionally charged subjects we deal with, and sometimes those emotions can get out of control.

Having said that, I will state that there is one rule that WILL be enforced, and enforced every time. The rule I'm speaking of is the rule against bashing WS's when they post on the Open board. If this occurs, the offending post WILL be deleted from the forum.

Think about how much guts it takes for a WS to come to an open, public forum like this and admit what they've done, ask for help, etc. Hell, it's EASY for us to reach out for help, we weren't the ones who had the affair. Not so for a WS, and so we extend them as much courtesy as we can, to make the Open board a safe place for them, just as this Discovery forum is a safe place for BS's (no WS allowed here).

If everyone extends that same courtesy to the WS's on the Open board, we will ALL benefit.

Thanks,
Cory
ADR Administrator

Some things in life are problems. Most are inconveniences. Knowing the difference is wisdom.

Yes, I wondered if there might be a rule like that. Thank you for pointing it out. My mistake....... And thank you for correcting me so eloquently, Glenda

Glenda, and everyone else for that matter, if you scroll down the main page, you'll see the Announcements Forum. Click on that, and you'll be able to read all our policies and procedures. There's also a pretty good "Tips On Posting" section that I think newer folks could benefit from.

The bottom line of all those policies and procedures? Play nice...

Cory

Some things in life are problems. Most are inconveniences. Knowing the difference is wisdom.

hi mate

well open is good, as has been explained.

also it might be a good idea for your H to say early in his post that he is a WS so that people who might be triggered etc, can see and stop reading if they need to. also maybe post up front that he is your H, so people have an idea of who he is and where he is 'coming from"

it is so important for both sides of the A fence to talk about their stuff, so open is a good place to do it.

it might be also worth talking with your H about how this works, how we are bit of a family and can become a bit protective, so it is tough to post as a WS at times, but it is welcomed and acknowledged.

also remember,that what might end up happening is that your personal stuff gets 'aired' or commented on, things you might not want others to see.

so remember my old rule, dont post anything you dont wont your mum to read, unless you are comfortable with that.

also this is not an alternative to counselling, but might provide you both with a place to post your feelings etc.

often members also offer their email for more private discussions, or you can click on their name and obtain the email. that is another option for you both.

cheers for now and i look forward to welcoming your H.
kath

My H has posted on the open forum. It is not alot of info. yet but it is a start.Maybe you all can help him feel comfortable enough to talk more.
I just want him to understand how important being honest is for both our sakes!!!
Thanks,
Kathy