Hi All who frequent these deeply serious but hopeful pages.

I am a mother of three small childrem who discovered 2 months ago that my partner - aka WS - had come very close to a full blown affair. A series of minor and not so minor indiscretions with a workmate over approx 2 months. We have a new baby and 2 toddlers, and I understand that our relationship was under intense pressure and do concede that I had been taking him for granted to some extent. But my rage has been immense and I have been fluctuating bt love and hate

Hi Rachel, and welcome to the club no one wants to join...

So far, you sound pretty normal.

Take all the responsibility for any issues in your marriage that you want, but do not let those issues be used to rationalize an affair, emotional or physical.

No matter what the issues are, you are in NO WAY responsible for your H's affair. That was a decision THEY made, without your knowledge and input.

Welcome to the rollercoaster. You know, I was watching a show on Travel Channel a few weeks back where they counted down the top 10 coasters in the world. I shook my head and thought, "Those coasters have NOTHING on what we go through".

Good luck, and keep posting. We're here to help,
Cory

Some things in life are problems. Most are inconveniences. Knowing the difference is wisdom.