I quietly marked six months since d-day the other day.

In the sage words of Jerry Garcia..."What a long, strange trip it's been".

I have seen my life (and my stomach) turned upside down. Felt the shock, disbelief, and rage resulting from a thoughtless, stupid and ultimately selfish act. Endured the "blame game" that her act was somehow my fault.

I have been to the attorney and back, envisioning my life as a once again single. Been to the marriage counsellor, who told us that "this may turn out to be the best thing that ever happened to us" and then, to a new one.

Through all this, I have found a new strength in myself, and tapped a resiliency I could have only believed I had.

I don't view my wife the same anymore. I move forward with her carefully, cautiously, and yet, forward nonetheless.

She wants assurances from me that I will not leave her. I won't...because of this indiscretion. But I can't give her the assurances either, because I no longer know what she is capable of.

Our marriage is diminished, obliterated, and yet rebuilding at the same time. Change is constant.

Through it all, your thoughtful, empathetic responses and guidance has been a constant.

The wonder of the internet is that ten or fifteen years ago, we would have suffered in relative silence, alone.

Thank you all for being here, listening and sharing your stories. As my pain over this ebbs, I promised myself to be here for others, to help them in their crises, as well.

Jay

Jay,

<<<I have found a new strength in myself, and tapped a resiliency I could have only believed I had>>>

Way to go buddy. Congratulations.

<<<As my pain over this ebbs, I promised myself to be here for others, to help them in their crises, as well.>>>

Thanks for sticking around Jay. You have alot to add here.

Tex

I am very glad you have stuck around here!! People like me need you here.
I am happy for you that you seem to be able to put things back together. I hope i get there someday.
How right you are about , years ago without the internet, what would we all have done??? Some of us might not have made it thru all of this back then.But having this place and all of you great people, we all know we aren't alone in this mess.
Thanks again!!!
Kathy

>>The wonder of the internet is that ten or fifteen years ago, we would have suffered in relative silence, alone.<<

Or even seven years ago like me.

The net is an amazing tool for both good and bad. This place (and many other sites pertaining to psychological and medical education for laypeople) shows the good.

Chris.