This site had to of been a God send. My D-Day way July 22,2006, right after I got off from work. I won't go through the details of the A or my emotions because it's about the same as everyone else's in here. I was searching on the net for anything that could make me understand why this could of happened after I had my H leave the house. I thought I was the only one going crazy. After a week we talked for a long time and decided to try and work things out. He has been very remorseful and has been going through all the steps with me to make our marriage work. I showed him this site and we read together. We have learned many things we wouldn't have known otherwise. I especially liked the Betrayed spouse 101, that helped me alot! We know we have a loooong way to go and he knows he will have to put up with my "roller coaster ride" for some time, but he accepts that. Some of the things that are helping are that we go for long walks together every evening and talk. We are dieting together. We are staying active in church. The main thing that I think is helping is we can talk and he is totally open with me, answers all my questions, and doesn't get discouraged when I go into anger mode. I just wanted to express my gratitude to all of you who write on this site and are going through the same hell as I am. We'll be reading every day

Carole

Welcome. I'm glad you've found us too. I'm happy to hear you are both reading old posts. There are quite a few real good discussions and it has a way of making you not feel so crazy. It is even more encouraging to hear that your H is answering all your quesions. That is rare in the beginning because they often don't tell all in the hopes that they don't anger or hurt you more, but it is mandatory in your healing depending on the level of honesty you want. Some want every detail and others want only certain parts. If you have any questions or just need support, please post again.

Charlie

Welcome Carole and Mr C.

I was happy to read the BS 101 helped you. I wished I could write like that.

Just remember this is going to be a rollercoaster ride for the BOTH of you. There will be times when you both might feel like giving up at different times out of frustration, pain, anger...whatever. One of the keys (if not the most important one) is to communicate those feelings. It'll be one step forward, two steps back for quite awhile and it might get worse before it gets better. Hang in there when/if that starts to happen. Keep talking. Remember to be patient with yourself and each other. There are no quick fixes to this.

I'm sorry you had to find us however you have found a safe place for the two of you. Mr C. is welcome to post on the OPEN forum whenever he wishes.

This is for Mr C to read: http://www.aftertheaffair.net/

Best of luck to the both of you.

Regards,

Tex

P.S. Weekends can be alittle slow so don't be discouraged by the lack of responses.

Welcome to the site. There is alot of great support here. Yes, please have him read as well, will help the both of you. I know how you feel, stay strong and keep coming back!

ready to mend my broken heart, ONE more time!

Greetings. I'm sorry that you've had to meet people in this manner.

I know that I spent many afternoons on this site, if not just reading, writing, but also burned a few ears in the Chat room (thanks a bunch guys). It helped me.

I hit the bottom of the barrel and almost had my H put me in the psych ward at the hospital, but I'm still here, still kicking (and sometimes still kicking him - emotionally). It's been a little over a year and a half since D-day for me. I've noticed recently that the change in season (going into the fall and winter months) for me starts up my triggers. H doesn't even work with OW anymore, but it's just the little rememberances, remembering the distant look on his face while cutting the pumpkins Halloween of '04 - I still can't even look at the pictures. But he's helping me through, very patiently. He knows that I'm a timebomb, able to be set off by just about anything, but he loves that I'm at least reacting now instead of hiding in the bedroom like I use to do. I realize now that that was what was missing most, reactions - even from both of us.

All I can say is read, educate, and talk, you may never fully understand, and even when you think you do, there will always be something else that you find out that makes you realize that it was just a tip of the iceberg. Keep digging, the spark is still down there somewhere and when you both find it, you will melt that damn iceberg and be washed clean.

Blessings, Jid

I have one stumbling block I keep running into in our recovery but it's kind of a female oriented problem. If any woman who is the BS could email me or set up a time to talk in chat I would sure appreciate it. Thanks a bunch!

I e-mailed you . Did you still want to talk to someone?
Kathy

I emailed you back but I'm having some problems with my main email on the PC. So I'll try to email you from my yahoo email account. Thank you for letting me know it didn't go through. Talk to you soon.
Carole