Son was in bed by 7pm. Daughter is at friend's house for a week. Cyn and I are all packed to go to Jamaica. We had some quiet time so she watched some show she had taped (EA leading to murder was the plot) and I sat through it (trying to be the good husband). I start kissing her and general foreplay. She laid there like a cold fish. I finally roll over and give up. She finally shows some effort (she get's up and puts underpants back on). Then she has the nerve to ask why I am leaving to sleep on the couch. I guess she only feels the need to show interest in love making when it doesn't involve me. God knows she chased the OM enough. This trip is looking more and more like my last trip to Jamaica, the trip my 2nd EXW conned me into taking claiming R, but really just to get a free trip at my expense before she filed for D.
Jordan
Bitter, but better.
This message has been edited by firemandown on Jun 21, 2007 7:38 PM
Jordan, you're better than me. I had a lot of trouble watching affair-themed movies or shows with my wife (at least when it was central to the plot) after d-day. It's no wonder you're pissed off.
The roller coast runs... don't forget the steps forward you have taken, when all is not perfect don't revert to the beggining...
As for romance...is it possible that the movie threw her into a guilt mode...is it possible that she wanted to see the movie...is it possible that the romance is being saved for the trip.
I think I know what you are feeling, you feel rejected so you are going to let that ruin the day, the week, the trip...
Recovery is about one step at a time, one day at a time, sometimes one hour or minute at a time.
I had a hard time when my ex would pull away from me, in bed. I almost always thought, "He's thinking of her." A lot of times (he told me later) was that he had other things on his mind (unrelated to his A) or that he was feeling a lot of guilt. Especially after watching a show dealing with infidelity, I can see that getting to your wife. Maybe Cyndee just plain old was not in "the mood"? If you're leaving on a trip (I'm jealous!) tomorrow, she probably has a million things on a check list to do before you go.
It takes a LONG time to reconsile within ourselves that every little bump in the road isn't related to infidelity at all...
Monica
My yesterdays are all boxed up - and neatly put away.
I agree with Monica...as a woman she probably had a zillion things on her mind. After D-Day we BS get pretty sensitive, but do not take it personally. If you really wanted to know what was up you should have just asked her. Communication! Communication! Communicatio!
BTW: H and I went to Jamaica with the kids right after d-day and had a great time despite what had happened. The kids loved it too! We rented a villa with a maid and cook for two weeks in Montego Bay! We had also went there on our Honeymoon.
Well I just spent the last 3 hours hunting for the OM, as soon as I posted my vent I found a party that he very well might be at, posted on my wife's myspace. I wasn't looking for it, it just appeared like a sign from above. His dream girl posted it. She was there and I waited as long as I could for him. Guess I am still a long way from fixed.
Jordan,
It's good that he wasn't there....like a sign from above. !
As recovery time goes on you'll likely feel more and more frustrated with the precious time and energy you waste of your own life when a trigger hooks you in.
It is good to get to the point where you can decide not to go 'there'.
I don't think I was totally free from it for 5 years.
