So this post-A thing is getting pretty old after a couple of weeks We've sat down twice to watch some light hearted movies to make us laugh and have struck out twice. We tried movies that we liked a long time ago, Something about Mary and Wedding Singer. Man what a mistake on both accounts. It seems like all of these movies have some reference to betrayal of some kind. Wedding Singer was really painful. Just one scene but man did it hurt. The guy was laughing about how easy it was to cheat. Ouch! If so many people are having A's there must be a lot of people that get really tense during movies.

Are there any recommendations for light hearted movies that we can laugh at and 'escape' for a little while.

rb

I found in that first year that almost anything would set me off even movies like "Ice Age" which is animated. It's not the choice of the movie as much as how much YOU obsess about what happened. The first year is basically just about survival. It was hell.

If you think movies are tuff, we had 3 weddings to attend that first year. Its especially hard to hear vows when your's have been shattered.

Not only that, I could not listen to Country Western music which used to be my favorite during work. Cheatin songs would send me into tears those first couple of years after d-day. But oddly enough, after my wife's affair she started listening to country music. I guess to have an understanding of the pain it causes.

The bottom line is that there is no place to hide from all the emotional stuff. Just hang in there.

I have to second what H2C said, the first year is about survival. Music, movies, TV programs (which seem to glamorize cheating), weddings, and even seeing other couples holding hands is a killer.

I remember one TV commercial that showed a young couple walking in a park, the come up on and pass an older couple that are holding hands after all their years together. Even that would rip me up.

I guess what helped me was my wife was in pain, and she would recognize my pain and triggers. She would take my hand, or snuggle closer and aploligize...usually with tears in her eyes.

The secret to recovery, time...TIME...so DAMN much TIME!!

I appreciate the comments noting the pain involved in the first year or more. I don't need you to tell me, I get it . I really was looking for help on ways to escape, maybe laugh a little and have some fun. I love funny movies but haven't had much luck.

rb

RB,

A funny movie that I would bet you have never heard of is "Cold Comfort Farm."
There is no infidelity. The actors are British, so if you have trouble understanding them, use your English subtitle feature. The movie may seem slow at first, but please keep watching- it gets REALLY funny if you stick with it!

"Little Miss Sunshine" is another (more recent) favorite of mine. One of the characters swears a lot and references sex, not sure if that would be a problem, but it is really worth seeing.

I recently watched "The Matador" with Pierce Brosnan- it was entertaining. No infidelity, although the lead character has several one-night stands and there is a fair amount of violence or references to violence. This is definitely a rated R film (don't watch this with your kids!).

I have to admit, several of my favorite films have at least one character who is or has betrayed his/her partner (i.e., Mystery Alaska (movie about hockey), and several romantic comedies--Bridget Jones Diary, French Kiss, Sliding Doors).

You'll laugh, but one of my all time favorites is Jaws! The drunken sailor scene is funny, especially when you know that the actors were actually drunk when they filmed it. (Yes, I do realize my tastes are esoteric!)

I would also appreciate movie rec's from others.

Marie