We have been married 7 years and together 10 1/2 years. We have had our problems but I never in a million years thought he would cheat. It was a co-worker. We fought on 5/17 he went out for hours (not answering cell), when he came home I searched his car and found condoms. He initially told me it was my fault and we had problems. He had a myspace account and had been emailing her, going to lunch with her, etc... He said it was only going on for a couple of weeks and that night was the "only time" they were "together". We are trying to get through this, couselling, talking, crying. But the pain wont stop. I cant eat (I've lost 20 pounds in 3 weeks), I'm on meds from doctor for anxiety now. I hate him for doing this to us but I still love him more than anything. We have a 22 month old child and he has a 11 and 13 year old from a previous marriage. I love all of our children and I want to make this work for everyone's sake. But it HURTS so much. She is 17 years younger than him and engaged, I want to get revenge and make her feel the way that I do and I know she will never feel that. She has resigned for the company which is good but I still want to confront her. I have good days and bad (most bad) where the PAIN and the visions of them together keep popping into my head. I want my life back and I hope some of you can help me get there, please.
Just want you to know that all you are felling is very normal...The infidelity diet, the anxiety, the love- hate...
Time is the only cure to getting your life back... in the mean time you need to take care of Kristen...you are NOT to blame for your H's A...he justified it with blaming you...he made the decision to talk to the OW...have sex with the OW...you didn't say i give you permission.
The OW is out of the picture which is a positive step for you..the man she is engaged to may need to hear that the woman he loves and plans to marry cheated on him...Confronting her will not solve anything because she really doesn't care about you...if she did she wouldn't have communicated with a married man....Write her a letter and tell her all you feel...but don't mail it...that made me feel so much better.
Please consider MC/IC..your H needs to figure out why he gave himself permission to cheat...and blaming you is not the answer you want to hear.
keep posting all the people here will understand what you are going thru.
take care,
Pat
"Time is precious, but truth is more precious than time."
The relationship can only be saved if your husband shows remorse and the two of you work through this together, he has to be willing to be questioned without getting upset, his life has to be an open book now and he cannot rush the recovery process for you. I walked in your shoes but unfortunately my husband was unwilling to work things out although he did not want the marriage to end. He just wanted to act as if nothing happened.