"Meet me on Friday" he'd always say... We're going to the Chesapeake Bay.
We'd go to the Chesapeake and run around on the boat.. Many summers of frolicking in the sun doing whatever and whenever we wanted to. Time didn't matter and it flew by so fast that the drive home on Sunday was always long but we had next Friday to look forward to and do it all again! Those were the days.
I've loved him with all my heart for 16 years. Let's get that straight first!
We started dating in 92...had a rocky road in 97 where I strayed because he was so jealous, I couldn't do anything. I felt closed in and we started not to agree on anything; how many kids and what religion we were going to be. I was catholic.. he was methodous. The fights were constant and came faster ever day. One of my co-workers at the time had a terrible crush on me and eventually he left his wife... his ultimate plan, which I didn't know at the time was to have me. So, he told me every bad thing there was to say about my "other half".. The co-worker eventually "got the girl" for about 3 months till I realized the game and said "I'm outta here, I DON'T love you, I don't WANT you... quite frankly, I want nothing to do with you... " My man was dating someone else.. so I fought hard and eventually winning his love back. He forgave me after kissing his butt and groveling at his feet until he got the picture. He broke up with his girl and came back to me. Hook, Line & Sinker.. for lack of a better phrase.
He eventually asked me to Marry him and without a beat.. I said "YES"! We were on our way to Husband and Wife.. FOREVER.. or so I thought.
Got married, sold the boat and "Bought a big house, where we both could live..." (Hearing Elton John at all?!?) Life was grand... after being together all this time we decided we were going to have a child... so after trying for 6 months our little man showed up 9 months later! About the time our son turned 2 the hubby's jealousy started rearing again, believe it or not, this time towards our son.. My focus was not on him any longer and he was being neglected. Is this something 40 year old men do?? Complain that the children are taking up to much of your time?? Anyways, somehow we survived that.. By the way, I work full time as well.
Right around February 2007, I noticed that things were changing.. He became withdrawn and lived at his job.. I mean LIVED there... if he wasn't at the office, he was jetting off somewhere taking care of customers. Constantly, complained about his job and how they take advantage of him... absolutely hating his boss. So, as a wife, I listened while he talked. That's what good spouses do.. right?? Listen. One day, he stopped talking... I figured he was in his cave and didn't want to be bothered with anything going on with me or his son.... He continued to withdrawal from me, I assumed that things were bad and I should "Stear clear!"
I took notice that the following months we started seeing friends of ours quite a bit... meeting for dinner. Their son who was 2 years older than ours liked coming to our place and so her and her son started coming over to hang out, go bowling, go to the pool... etc.. etc.. These people have been friends; HER and HER HUSBAND have been friends with us for 20 years! If there was one person I TRUSTED with my husband it was her. Do you all see where this is going?!? BTW - She works with him too!
March 6, 2008 - My life changes forever when He told me he's been having an affair with her for about 6 months. Her husband figured it out sometime around the beginning of October 2007. He told me he was contantly waiting for the phone to ring and having her husband call me like he threatend to do so many times.
It finally got the best of her husband and he finally calls me on March 9th to tell me everything he knew.. Including the email affair that they had as well. He hacked her email and READ everything that was going on... He sent me one of those emails and my days havn't been the same. The email made it real. Funny, and that's another long story.. My husband being the sentimental guy that he his... printing off about 3 months of the emails.. and I have every one of them! Locked away for future reference.
Needless to say we are in couples therapy and singular therapy and things haven't been the same since. I keep catching him in lies & half truths.. I find things that make whatever he says contradictory... He's a sieve brain and forgets what he has and what he has kept until I manage to find it!!
There's my ugly story.. oh, BTW the end of this month is our 10th anniversary... I'm so lost and can't stop crying. I've become a shell of a person.
I feel for every one of you having to go through this. I never imagined how heart wrenching this betrayal is. The shell of my soul is wounded. I've looked at this as he finally got even with me. He tells me that it had nothing to do with him and the OW. It "just happened"...
Wolfeyez
