Wife (married 9, 3 kids under 9 years old) is seeing younger coworker, seems for at least 5 months. weve been seperated away from home (I left) for 3 months now, she trys to keep it from me, but i know its a fact, i see her car parked outside his apartment and texts, cell calls, new lingerie, you name it and the kids dont lie. She also says were never getting back together, that i was a creep from day 1, and speaks in absolute negitives to me on occasion, but mostly we get along good when we see/talk to each other and are very civil but i can tell she doesnt like being around me, any more than nessisary although some days we spend together doing kid stuff and its better than before and the next day she doesnt want to talk to me. But i know she is really in love with him or she wouldnt treat me this badly! Ive went on with life in the past 3 months on my own, started school, new church, ect, doesnt phase her much, shes so wrapped up in him. Is there any advise out there on how long typical affairs of this type last???????? Will she come back my way eventully????? cuddles

"Will she come back my way eventully?????"

Well, as I don't have a crystal ball.... I don't know.

The real question, cuddles, is -- are you willing to wait?  If so, for how long?  Are you in counseling?

Jean 

i am sorry that you have to go thru this---i don't think there is anything that compares to the pain--------what to do next-----if she really wants no part of you, all you can do is move on-------------if you want to reconcile your marriage than YOU MUST PULL HER OUT OF THE AFFAIR---------how and why did she get herself into a state where she would not talk to you about what is wrong, but would instead give herself to another---------more info is needed about your situation if you want advice---what do you think led to this, why are you still together-------was or is she ever remorseful to you-------the thing is ---had your marriage become stale----is she looking for attention, excitement, what does she want-------affairs are just fantasy under the best of conditions-----the words are what each partner wants to hear, the attention is what is wanted----the sex is all of a sudden the greatest, but you know what bottom line sex is just sex, problem is with you it is now boring and routine, with him it is exciting-------with him she has no everyday life dealings either, no kids to deal with, no bills to pay, no time away from each other due to work, no everyday living that a normal H and W deal with, as in chores, social obligations, family obligations, school obligations--------an affair has no negatives------tell her to try thinking about doing what she takes for granted with you, try doing that with him---how long do you think the fantasy would last--not very long--------your problem is you must get her away from him and back to you------she doesn't want that she likes her fantasy life-----you are also going to have to deal with the visions you have of her with him, and the pain, and doubt , and lack of trust-----this is going to be very hard for you, and to do it you must demand things of her which she must do no matter what, and that is another whole ballgame-----you really need to decide where you want to go with this situation

when i stated in my previous post, why are you still together, i know you are seperated, but you seem to do things together, why is that happening, if she wants no part of you------and what actually happens between the 2 of you, as to serious talk, or is it all just light frivolity, because you don't want to take the chance of getting serious, and she doesn't want to talk at all-------remember everything, because if she ever does come out of this, you need to be very strong about her coming back to you, as i said that is another whole discussion, and i don't think she really loves him---i think she loves what she has and that is all positive and no negative with him--no responsibility for either of you--------what state are you in----7 states allow a tort suit by you against her lover for criminal conversion, and also for alienation of affection, they are both very easy to prove, and would be very lucrative to you, and i guarantee you , you will scare the crap out of the other man, if he knew he was going to have to defend a lawsuit