I just found out about my husbands affair 1 week ago. I don't think it has sunk in yet. I still feel like im in a haze. We will have been married 3 years next month and been together 4 years total as of july. My husband is active duty military (USAF) and i am a working spouse. We don't have any children and my husband goes on regular deployments once a year for his job and is out of the country 4-6 months at a time. I know all the stigma associated with being a military wife and god knows i know the statistics but i love my husband and i want our marriage to work. He came home from a 4 month deployment on May 5th and everything seemed fine. He never indicated he was unhappy in our marriage or that he wanted anything to change. He spent his first week back with me in our home and life seemed perfect, then the following week he traveled back to where his parents live and where he is originally from to visit family and old highschool friends. It was during that visit that this affair occured. He went out drinking with old high school buddies, ran into an old flame and so the story goes. He says it was a one time drunken accident and he felt like sh*t from the moment he woke up and realized what he'd done. He confessed the affair to me within a few hours of being back home from his trip. We have started marriage counseling and he is changing his phone numbers, email, and anything else i ask of him. But why do i still not feel satisfied? While im at work i fnd myself always wondering what he's doing and who he's talking to. I'm driving myself mad with all the what-ifs... I don't want our marriage to end and i do believe he is a good man who made a mistake. I guess the only thing that keeps me a little grounded is that i have cheated in a past relationship before my marriage so i can understand a little about what drives someone to be unfaithful, that does not excuse it but i can understand. But dammit why did it have to happen to me? I keep throwing this puty party for myself in my head and i just want it to stop. I love my husband dearly but im just so lost. The only thing im sure of is i love him and i don't want to lose what we have.
