It's been awhile since I've posted but I'm over 3 months out from my D-Day. I'm clearly going through the stages of grief and they're all bleeding into each other. But here's where I've landed with my thoughts over the past week.
How does one stay in a marriage where their spouses integrity is contingent upon my behavior. Am I asking for too much? I want a husband who has integrity no matter what I do. Am I supposed to carry that load and be a emotionally healthy and available person?
Sure, I added to the dysfuction of our relationship and take full responsibility for it but there are countless married couples out there who are not getting their needs met in marriages who do not go out and sleep with other people.
He had an affair in 2001 because our relationship was in trouble. We got through the explosion that was the affair and never really fixed what was going on with us. Now 6 years later, he's done it again and is horribly remorseful, sad, embarassed and going to therapy.
What the hell am I supposed to do? What the hell am I supposed to think?