I don't know where to start. I am new here but so glad to find this resource. I am like everyone else on this site--he cheated on me. It started 4 years into our marriage just after he finished Air Force pilot training. I guess he thought there would be a lot of women who would put out for a pilot and he was right. He started cheating right before we went overseas and screwed his way through Europe. He had a couple of one night stands and two prostitutes over there before we came back to the US. When we got back, he had to go off for a two month TDY (temporary duty) for training in another city. And yes, he started trolling when he got there, found another tramp that apparently had no compunctions about having sex with a married man, and so he shacked up at her apartment for the last three weekends he was there. (So he says, maybe it was all the time, who knows what to believe?) Supposedly he didnt' have anymore affairs until the next time he went on a two month TDY.(This is two years later) He found a fat uneducated bar maid right off the bat-lucky him, score score score-and had sex with her every night, or so he says. He even took her to a weekend at the beach, something he never ever offered to do with me. He bragged about having sex with her 5 times that weekend. All I ever got was duty sex-hey, I was available and he could make do with that until the next time he could go TDY and have great sex with his girlfriend. This continued on and off for nine months until I found out. The way I found out was through the good old US postal service. She mailed him a birthday card at his squadron and some nameless clerk forwarded it on to his home address, where I saw it when I checked the mail. And that of course is the day that changed my life FOREVER. That night when we were having our screaming match and I asked him why and he said for sex because I was unresponsive, I threw an iced tea glass at him and too bad it missed, but at least it shattered just like my life had just been SHATTERED. I'll shorten this-he broke it off with his out of town girl friend, we got counseling, and of course I changed my behavior so I could be reponsive just like his girlfriends. Talk about square filling! Still, three years later, out of town again, and he hits on the sister of a colleague. She turned him down and according to him, that's the last time he ever even tried. I wish he had told me everything all at once but no, I just recently found out about the one night stands and the prostitutes and it's like it's just happened to me again, like just yesterday. It may be old news to him, but to me it is brand new information. I have been living my life thinking that he had two women which is AWFUL enough, and then to find out about the others years later is DEVASTATING! Then he also told me sometime later that one of them was also stationed at the next base we went to and contacted him to start up the affair again. He got scared, said no and that's when he quit. This leaking of information is killing me. What else is out there that I don't know? His rule was never in town and here it was in his own backyard. He also had a year away (without me) in another country, but swears that nothing happened there. You will not believe this, but the first time this happened was thirty-five years ago and I'm still not healed. Waiting for another shoe to drop is awful-where does it end? Does it end? How do you trust and move on? How do you believe him?
I know this is way too long but it helps just to write it down for the first time.