>>Although infidelity leaves a scar that is always there, I can assure you if two people want the relationship to work; they can definitely recover and move beyond it to live an abundant life together.<<

"IF TWO PEOPLE WANT..." I think this is the single-most important factor in whether a marriage survives one partner's infidelity. It all starts there.

I think many of us have been saying this for years now.

For the full-text article, which has much good and not much bad in it, go to

http://www.indystar.com/articles/0/220155-3510-047.html

>>"IF TWO PEOPLE WANT..." I think this is the single-most important factor in whether a marriage survives one partner's infidelity. It all starts there.<<

I'll go along with that. Of course, it also takes some perseverence to hang in there while the two partners figure out what they want.

Tried that, Q, without having the "if two people want" first.

Doesn't work. Some "exit affairs" aren't obviously exit affairs at first, and the painful truth of non-commitment develops slowly. Then, in retrospect, the truth is glaring...there was never a real chance.

I'm not saying that it's not necessary to hang in there if you want it. I'm saying that if one doesn't want it, there's not much point in the other hanging in there and banging his/her head against a wall for, oh, say 5 years or so.

Chris.

Good article.

I fully agree........both have to want it. Doesn't work when only 1 person does all the work. Hmmmm sort of like a marriage of sayyy maybe 12 years LOL

>>Some "exit affairs" aren't obviously exit affairs<<

Ain't that the truth. We both know that some "exit affairs" can be extremely well camouflaged.

>>I'm saying that if one doesn't want it, there's not much point in the other hanging in there and banging his/her head against a wall for, oh, say 5 years or so<<

Remember expressions like "I can take a hint" or "you don't have to hit me over the head"? Well ... I couldn't and she did.

"Actions speak louder than words."

People we all know were banging me with this concept years ago. I bang newbies with it today.

I don't know that I remember the day it finally dawned on me, but I remember the sense that I was just sitting there playing out a bad hand as best I could.

Sometimes, we don't even get fresh lemons. We get dried out, moldy lemons. Can't make lemonade from those.

So then it's time to get some apples or oranges instead.



Chris.