God! This is so hard! My daughter is still with her Dad in Virginia and she doesn’t come home until tomorrow. My H called today after several days of not knowing where he has been. Of course he called from a restricted number so there is no way for me to call him back. He said he would call back later and I think he will, but should I have him come over in the account that I feel lonely? I still believe that there can be healing and that we can save this marriage, but is going to take time. I am not sure if tonight is the right time to start. But I am hoping he calls soon because I am very lonely right now and I could use the company for old time sake. Is that bad? Wanting to be with the one you love even if this person doesn’t deserve it? Is it wrong to forget for a few hours the pain and simply hold each other? I am in God’s hands and I am praying that he keeps me from making anymore mistakes. I hope you all have a Happy New Year and 2006 brings you all the peace we all deserve.

Hi Irene...I am sorry you are feeling lonely tonight. I too miss my former H but know that he is spending his new year with the OW...that hurts so badly. If your H calls you and you want to spend time with him...you know what the consequences of that are....it might put you some steps back, but if you feel that the relief of being with him outweighs the inevitable "set back"....well you are the only one that knows that. I am going to watch a movie tonight ALONE and drink some mudslide...maybe some wine. I don't want to be with anyone tonight. This is the beginning of the life I am going to be living and I want to get used to it. Traditionally (when I was still Married), we would spend time with our children, their friends, and a couple friend of ours. We would have a glorious time. Now, he spends his time with his new friends of hers and I am alone...sound like a pity party? Well, maybe, but I think I can feel a bit sorry for myself...this has been a horrendously difficult year for me and my children. I really want the 2006 year to provide me many opportunities and I will certainly take advantage of them. Just pretend this is another Saturday night and you are in your home able to to anything you want to...why not go to a movie? There are some fun shows out there...some of my firends saw the one about the Stone family and said it was great. Treat yourself. Go to WalMart...there are always fun people there...at least to watch. Best of the evening to you.

In time you will both realize the value of spending time away from people who don't want to spend time with you. It was a hard lesson for me as well. This is the first (after 3 years) NYE that I haven't spent the night in tears and pretty much alone. Tonight I am going out to celebrate with some friends at a party for 1000!! It has taken me this long to "want" to move on and start a new life for myself after many years of wallowing in the fact that he is with some other woman and I am alone.

The reality is........they are where they belong at this point.....with another cheater and liar. They may act happy but that doesn't make a happy person inside. Inside they wallow in the guilt and anger they hold inside. Eventually karma will happen. I have to believe that. It is what has helped me to make it this far.

Irene.....don't mistake being alone for being lonely. Go rent a movie and call up some old friends or family that you haven't talked to in ages. Cry and scream if you have to. Tomorrow will be a new day and you don't have to deal with this for another year! Don't hurt yourself further by spending time with your ex unless he wants to spend the NYE with you. It will just lead to you hurting more.

I feel for you both since I have been there Just know it can and will get better each year.

I am thinking of you both.

Kid