I remember reading something somewhere that said "Your body is aware your spouse is cheating before you do".  I wonder if this is true.  I think it is when I look back on things. When I  first started to suspect my H was cheating I had some mild reactions.  I actually thought I was going through periomenpause or something.  Prior to day I had mild heat flashes.  After d-day they progressed to heat flashes with some mild sweating.  And since the Christmas road rage thing they have become what feels like full blown anxiety attacks (heat flashes, sweats, heart pounding)!  Not to mention that I have skipped my periods for Dec. and Jan.  It happens sometimes when I am really stressed.

The odd thing is that it's a subconscious reaction that mostly occurs at night as I start to drift off to sleep, or so I thought.  Then I realized they do occur during the day but not as frequent.  But the wierd thing about it is I noticed it occurs when I am either near my H or talking about our relationship and/or major traumatic events, and when I have triggers.  I feel this wave of heat and I actually turn red (face & neck mostly) and start to sweat.

Does this happen to anyone else?  Or am I just plain crazy?  Am I making myself sick somehow?  Or is my body really trying to tell me something?

Carol~

EDITED TO ADD: I am 41 (almost 42) for those who are wondering.  The symptons started about 4 years ago.

....EDITED TO ADD: I am 41 (almost 42) for those who are wondering. The symptons started about 4 years ago....

I would start by talking to my female kin - and the first one to be asked is your mother. Then go and see your doctor. There is a test which will be able to let you know where on the continuum you are. And let him/her know your complete symptons... anxiety attacks are a bear...which can be dulled by meds and a lot of positive self-talks. (been there, done that... and I have been over them for years now )





And as you walk you make your path Kat

Carol,
'Hot flashes, 'power surges', or as I call them, 'brulée moments', are said to be aggravated by stress. Sounds like you've got both.

They can cause rapid heart beat and make your face flare. As Kat suggested, the doc can help you pin it down.

Yet another alternative approach (Yoga, meditation, no caffeine, etc) to panic attacks I read about recently was to watch your acid/alkaline PH balance with PH strips. There are books on this. The theory being that acidic systems can help cause panic attacks. Sometimes they are more than psychologically induced.

Carol I agree with the girls above.

Anxiety attacks are something that will put you in an emergency room thinking that your minutes are numbered. I had two in the first week after d-day.

The symptoms you speak of sound very much like peri-menopausal symptoms:

"Many women begin to experience an array of physical, mental and emotional symptoms long before they meet the definition of menopause. These changes, that occur over as many as several years (usually from around age 40 to 51), are a transition period called “perimenopause”. The signs and symptoms of perimenopause can include menstrual irregularities, hot flashes, vaginal dryness and thinning, skin changes, fatigue, decreased libido, mood swings, depression, anxiety, changes in memory and cognition, sleep disturbance, palpitations, nausea, headaches..."

It could also be a thyroid imbalance:

"Signs of hypothyroid:severe fatigue, loss of energy, weight gain, difficulty losing weight, depression and depressed mood, anxiety, hot flashes or hot flushes, joint and muscle pain, headaches, dry skin, brittle nails, brittle hair, itchy scalp, hair loss, irregular periods, PMS symptoms, difficulty tolerating cold and lower body temperature, constipation, sleeping more than average, diminished sex drive, puffiness in face and extremities, memory loss, fuzzy thinking, difficulty following conversation or train of thought, slowness or slurring of speech..."
----------------------------------------------

Peri-menopause cannot be stopped but, the symptoms can be treated. Thyroid imbalance is very serious. Without treatment the symptoms will generally worsen over time, eventually resulting in permanent damage.

There are some other diseases that cause these symptoms, such as insulin resistance, so I wouldn't mess around with self-diagnosis!

Please, make an appointment with your doctor!

I speak from experience since I am peri-menopausal and hypo-thyroid.

aanisah

Thanks ladies.  I did have the gyno check for meopausal symptoms and he said that my hormone levels were fine, and this is not related to menopause in any way.  So much for that theory, lol.  But he does believe that I am over stressed.  He also suggested that I see my family doctor and have a complete physical.  I will probably go that route. 

The onset (mild symptons) was 4 years ago so I would have been about 37. That was when H started having his A.  I just knew something and my body was telling me too.  I really see an increase in symptoms the more I feel overwhelmed, stressed and pressured. Most of the pressure I have put on myself. I really think I need  to let go of some of this stress and bagagge that Im acrrying around with me.  IC is helping but I think I need to learn some relaxation techniques like Yoga and/or meditation, self help, like RW and Kat suggested.  They couldnt hurt that's for sure.

Take Care,

Carol~

>>Does this happen to anyone else?  Or am I just plain crazy?  Am I making myself sick somehow?  Or is my body really trying to tell me something?<<

Yes. No. Yes and no. Definitely.

I've been getting anxiety attacks since d-day although they've been getting much less severe. From what I've seen, it's pretty common in affair recovery. I definitely think that our bodies are telling us something and I believe that the message is worth listening to very carefully. It helps me alot to get a handle on what's happening when my anxiety levels spike.

Is there a test that can tell if you are in perimenopause?

Answer:

The FSH test (that a clinic offers) is not at all reliable in diagnosing perimenopause, because FSH levels can go up and down constantly. I go by the adage that if the patient has symptoms, I assume perimenopause until proven otherwise. The one thing we do need to rule out is thyroid disease, which also has hot flashes as a symptom. -- Mary Ann Portman, MD, professor of obstetrics, gynecology, and reproductive sciences, University of Pittsburgh School of Medicine.

Question:

Can you start showing symptoms of perimenopause even though your hormone test results came back normal?

Answer:

Women's symptoms are the most important guide to what women are going through. The FSH blood test is so variable from one day to the next. One of my colleagues says it's like taking a picture of the speedometer when the car is sitting in the garage. I think many women have been done a disservice when they come in with hot flashes and they can't sleep, but the doctor says you're normal because you're still bleeding and your FSH level is normal. Women have been dismissed because of this. The definition should be at least two elevated FSH levels to confirm whether a woman is in perimenopause or menopause. -- Maureen Connelly, MD, gynecologist at Brigham & Women's Hospital and co-director of the Harvard-Vanguard Menopause Consultation Service in Boston.

"The exact cause of hot flashes is unknown -- they might be caused by decreased estrogen or even a change in another hormone. During a hot flash, the part of your brain that controls body temperature is affected. You might feel a sudden wave of heat move from your chest to your head during a hot flash, your face may turn red, and sweating may occur. Certain things sometimes trigger the onset of hot flashes including:

Hot weather
Hot or spicy foods
Alcohol
Caffeine

Avoiding things that trigger your hot flashes can significantly lower the intensity of your hot flashes, as well as the number of hot flashes you experience during menopause and perimenopause."

If you are on oral contraceptives or other hormones such as Depo-Provera, that could also cause hot flashes and missed periods.

You may want to have your doctor do the hormone test again or give you a thyroid FT4, T3U or T4 test.

I wouldn't stop until I found out the problem. You are not too young to be in peri-menopause. I talked to a woman that began it at 28. She is 33 and still experiencing it.

If all of these are ruled out, I agree with RW and the others. Try exercise, yoga, or some other stress busting routine.

I wish you well.

aanisah

Carol,

In our RESOURCES link under INSIGHTS there is a great book called "The Anxiety Phobia Workbook". Have you checked it out?

Quinn gave me a copy, then I gave it back to Quinn, and hopefully one day Quinn will give it back to me.

Thanks RW. Maybe I will check it out.  I was thinking of mediation/yoga and getting that check up.  I also told my C and he feels I have PTSD.  He is trying congnitive therapy with me.  Just after one sesson I have had fewer incidents

Carol~