I am so frustrated with myself this week. I have been trying so hard to not think about my W's A and try to put it behind me. It is just over 2 yrs past d-day.

On monday I was out working driving to an appointment and the whole thing just hit me really hard. It was a naked emotion where I just fully experienced the pain of betrayal and the loss of something I used to think of as special.

Do we ever stop thinking about it? Will it ever fade enough so that it can be coped with and put aside so a normal life can be experienced again? Or will it forever blight the relationship and is it time to admit defeat and go on a separate journey for the good of us both?

I am just feeling sorry for myself this week but needed to express this here with my friends...it keeps me going!

Cheers
Keith

Yes man, it DOES get better. Your brain KNOWS what's happening, it sees the positive steps you and your W are making, both as individuals and as a couple.

Your psyche takes a little while to jump on the train..

This is my theory of what happens around this time...

When you first hit D-Day, your subconscious builds a wall to protect you. Short term, it's a good thing, it keeps you from going over the edge.

As time goes on and things get better, you start to relax and think more positively. You start taking apart that wall. At that point, your subconscious says, "HEY!! What about.... " and you get triggered for no apparent reason.

This chipping away at the wall, like the rest of this, will happen over a period of time. Your subconscious is trying to protect an intellect that knows it doesn't need that protection. There's still fear there, and it WILL manifest itself as triggers for a while. You'll notice that the effects are less, and less frequent, as TIME goes on.

You knew I had to use that word at least once...
Cory

Some things in life are problems. Most are inconveniences. Knowing the difference is wisdom.

Cheers Cory...you are the dude!

I understand exactly what you are saying there and feel much better after a day out working and not obsessing about stuff!

How are you anyway...did the presentation go well?

Keith

Which one?

The three I've done in the past month, 1 motivational speech, 1 self defense seminar, and 1 officiating the conference for the organization I run, all went well.

I had some "issues" with my motivational speech. It either needs tweaking or I'm just too critical. Maybe both. My W thought it went great, and I received quite a bit of positive feedback. I'll be reviewing it soon with some friends, and then in a few weeks with my old clowning boss to get some feedback, and I'll go from there.

Saw your post where you mentioned your trip. I'm guessing you had a great time.. My W and I will be invading your airspace in the fall of '07, so I'm giving plenty of advance notice to my friends from the UK... Watch out, Blind Fury is coming! LOL

Cory

Some things in life are problems. Most are inconveniences. Knowing the difference is wisdom.

Hi Cory and sorry for the delay in replying.

I amsure your 3 speeches were terrific and you are being very hard on yourself!!

Yes we enjoyed the trip the the USA. I would have liked to have looked you up but my W wouldn't go for it because of the circumstances.

It would be great if you visited us when you are over though, I don't think she would mind that as some more time would have passed by then and it would be on her own turf so she wouldn't feel threatened!

I will email you later for a longer chat and hope you are very well.

Cheers
Keith