Just wanted to let you know I got back Tues. night. I am trying to deal with all of this the best that I can. I needed to get away!  I needed to be with my family. I literally did not decide until the last second to leave. At least I rattled H's cage a little and did something spontanious. I am a planner so it's not like me to just take off like that. He has many suprises yet to come.

There is much more going on but that's all I can say for now.  Take Care...Carol~

Carol

When I first met with a few lawyers (about 4) it was empowering for me as well. I got a ton of great information and felt much more at ease and it helped me realize that I would be okay.

I'm curious what your lawyer thought was common with pizzeria owners? The drugs? The money issues?

I'm glad your on your way to making your life "right." You won't believe once you are out of it how much better you feel once all the financial stuff is taken care of and you know you and the kids will be okay.

Charlie

Thank you Charlie,

Take Care...Carol~

Wow, Carol - good for you about the vacation! How did your H react to you just up and going?

There were so many things I hadn't thought about until I saw a lawyer. When it came down to it, my H signed everything over to me so we didn't "fight" about anything. He just wanted out... but, I suspect that's not going to be the case w/your H!

There is a guy I work with who is a complete alcoholic. When he and his W divorced, she had it in the papers that he couldn't drink at least 24 hours before he picked up their daughter and not at ALL when he had her with him. No beers at the ball game, nothing. If she found out (by asking the daughter or whatever) it voided his visitation since she was granted sole custody. That may be something to think about, when the time comes.

Keep getting your ducks in a row, Carol. Hang in there!!

Monica

My yesterdays are all boxed up - and neatly put away.

"She said that if we cannot agree on something it will go to court and be decided by a judge. She said "trust me, he will not want it to go to court". If it goes to court it becomes public record, otherwise it is just between us and the lawyers"

Carol

Funny that she actually told you that. My lawyer didn't tell me that but my ex is a classic case of what your lawyer said. He didn't want it to go to public record because he could have lost his job. He did settle out of court and very fairly in my opinion. At first he was talking a bunch of crap to common friends of ours about how he was "going for the jugglar," their exact words, and then low and behold, after speaking to his lawyer , he started being rational. His lawyer let him know what would happen if it had gone to court I suppose. I hope that will be the same for you. Your H has not only his reputation but also the drug charges he could face - that could help you.

Charlie

Carol,

WB . I asked about you the other day and Kid said you were visiting family. Good for you. I hope you had a happy reunion.

Did the lawyer ease some of your fears? You took a big step for yourself regardless of what happens in the future.

I know this isn't what you wanted to do but ya know, sometimes we have no choice other than to play the hand we're dealt. As the song goes..."gotta know when to hold em and know when to fold em". You did good Carol. Be proud of yourself.

Much Regards,

Tex