Just wanted to share some good news...H finally put the house in my name too! We went yesterday to sign the paperwork and the new deed has been filed with the county court house
After we left the abstract company, I gave H a big kiss and a huge hug and told him thank you. He said "your welcome". I started to cry and told him that he has no idea how much this means to me. He says he still doesnt understand why I needed the house in my name, that legally the house was half mine. I told him I know that this is mostly symbollic as opposed to legal, but that it made me feel important to him. He said he never meant for me to feel like I wasnt important to him because my name was not on the house. I said but that is how I felt, and this means a lot to me.
Take Care....Carol~
This message has been edited by pizzalady on Mar 6, 2007 1:05 PM
Carol...I was afraid to read your post...I was afraid he "did" something awful. Congratulations.....you are not responsible for paying for half of it (:
I hope you are doing well and moving in a direction of harmony and peace..you certainly deserve it after all that you have endured. I hope you have a wonderful Thanksgiving celebration...a great deal to be thankful for.
Did not mean to scare anyone, lol. We are making some progress. It is slow going to say the least. H still has a hard time communicating but we are working on it.
Definately Barb. H has made some leaps and bounds in some departments...but the communication part is going slowly. H has never been a good comminucator so this is the hard part for him. Plus, if he answers my questions he feels bad...meaning he has a hard time owning up to what he did...that is the guilt and shame and being vulnerable. Being vulnerable is very new to my H. He has always been the strong macho type who does not easily let his feelings show or express himself verbally. But he is learning...I am still learning and trying to be patient....and we are a work in progress.
First of all good job PizzaMan. Hopefully he is beginning to understand not just the "what" but the "why". Like everything else its a process and sometimes comes down to issue by issue...situation by situation. For instance he might understand why you need the house in your name but the next situation that arises he might not understand until you explain it to him. I hope that makes sense.
We can all hand someone a blueprint or a map but it means crap if they don't get why. Sounds to me like y'all are making great progress Carol.
He has been lost a long time. He's got two journeys here. One with you and one by himself. There are going to be setbacks on both sides. Chalk it up to another lesson learned and begin the next day anew.
As far as his communication skills just keep in mind that's a two way street. You can lay it all out there as far as you are concerned and if he doesn't understand it...well...it means nothing. We all have our own way of communicating...so both of you need to find a middle ground.
If you met me in person you'd be surprised that I stutter sometimes, get tongue-tied or just say nothing because my speech literally cannot catch up to what I'm thinking. Sure I have my charming Tex moments(BWAAAHHHAAAA ) but they are few and far between especially when I've screwed up. That's why I believe my posts are long sometimes. I type better than I talk. Considering all of my typos what the hell does that say? Just check...two edits already and that's with spellcheck. I ain't found a "speech check" yet.
I don't think there is a right or wrong way of communicating...just compromise and understanding . I don't mean better or worse....like I said just different. Some folks are blunt and some aren't...you get my drift. That's where both need to work understanding what the other is trying to say.
Regards,
Tex
This message has been edited by TexMac64 on Nov 16, 2006 11:04 PM This message has been edited by TexMac64 on Nov 16, 2006 11:00 PM
That had to be one of your funniest posts. You had me chuckling and a smiling...thanks
And yes, I get your drift. That is why I say I am still learning...learning to communicate in different ways...listening in different ways. And H, well, he has a lot to learn. As my C says to me "he doesnt get a whole lot", lol. But he is trying and that is what is important to me. It is certainly a process.
Tex, I am the opposite. My typing is horrible, yet I sound quite nice in person. I have had many guys ask me if I will be delivering the pizza...in fact, one guy flirted with me so much one night on the phone because he liked my voice that my H felt it was his duty to deliver the pizza in person, lol. H tells me "You're too nice to people on the phone"
Glad to hear that you have the keys to the warehouse. Has you H put your car in your name yet? I hope so.
I am happy that your H is willing to do what you ask and not hang on to this control that seems so important to him. When you said that everything was in his name, that stood out to me as someone with a control issue. Hopefully his IC is helping him release that problem.
