My story: H goes to Florida to look at retirement property for us. H has an A with his realtor. I discover affair after 6 months. He ends it immediately and is remorseful. H has done everything possible to help me get over this for the past 16 months. H even agreed to sell the property since H and the OW met there frequently.

However, our 28 year old son received a job offer and is now living in the Florida duplex. After discussing this with my counselor, he has encouraged me to visit my son with my H over the holidays. I have agreed. However, since that time I have had a sick feeling in my stomach. I know returning there will be very difficult for me emotionally. What can I do to prepare for this trip? Any ideas?

P.S. Life theme song: "I Heard it Through the Grapevine" - appropriate I discovered my H's A through the internet!

""""I know returning there will be very difficult for me emotionally. What can I do to prepare for this trip? Any ideas?""""

I know these ordeals affect different people in different ways. When my wife had an affair I needed to know all the details. I found out where and, to the best she could remember, I found out when. I had to see and experience the affair places for myself, for my own healing. Maybe if you could look at it as something that will help you heal........

Hopefully with your son living there it will have a totally different "look" to it.

Hi Chris,

I'm sorry you're going through this. One thing that worked for me was to concentrate on taking the place BACK. My ex took his OW to a few places that were "ours" - NOT a home (thank goodness), just restaurants, stores, etc. I had to sort of exorcise the ghost of her by going back to the places and making an effort to get NEW memories.

Maybe you could help your son re-decorate or just move furniture around, anything to change it just enough to make you feel like it's YOURS again.

Enjoy the FL weather, see the sites, do new things to re-create new memories. Have some key lime pie for me, nowhere on earth makes it better than Florida.

Monica

My yesterdays are all boxed up - and neatly put away.

Thank you both so much. Everything you said made so much sense to me. I, too, had to know all the details. I really like the idea of taking it back.

I wish I had known about this site when I first discovered the A. I think I would have felt a lot less crazy!