I was a frequent reader and commenter "way back in the day" (2002) after my live in boyfriend cheated and thus began that crazy roller coaster we like to call "The Amazing Aftereffects" that took me through more trauma than I had or could have ever have imagined.

I didn't "let go" until 2003. He is still with the OW and they are busy living life, taking cruises, trips to vegas, etc.

Initially (I live in a small enough place where no matter what, you are going to hear things even when you don't want to) I was hurt- but only for a second.

I've come so far. I was so hurt when it all happened. However, now I realize that yes, she "won"- a liar and a cheater. Karma is something else as well- as evidently she doesn't trust him either- but hell, why should she?

About 2 months or so ago she found it necessary to call my house to ask to speak to him. Yeah, he wasn't here, and I had not seen him- but apparently she didn't know where he was and often doesn't- and assumes (incorrectly) that it's "ME" that she's having to worry about.

I will say that I got a great amount of satisfaction in laughing at her on the phone, letting her know that she is barking up the wrong tree, and in that vein laughing that I really didn't understand why she was mad in the first place, given the fact that she thought his philandering was "cute" when it was she he was sneaking around to see.

I just wanted to post a comment after all this time to let some of those who are new to this that when the "wise ones" tell you that time will lessen it, they are right. I didn't believe it myself- I imagined I'd always be in this constant state of turmoil feeling like a fool- but as time goes one, and I'm on my own again- single- I know that when I go to sleep at night I'm either not a) wondering where he has been as he lay beside me looking like he doesn't have a care in the world or b) not wondering where he is or what he's doing and who with.

Alone is infinitely better than life with a liar and a cheater.

Good to have an update from you, tracie.

Chris.

I'm glad you're doing well Tracie. Yes, being alone is far better then being with someone you can't trust!! My ex is getting married soon (not to the OW) and I have to feel sorry for her if he does the same things to her.

Charlie

Hi Tracie, thanks for the update!

When my ex was still trying to come over after our divorce, I told my C that I'd like to call his GF (the OW #2) and tell her to keep her BF in check. She said, "What would you say? He's a liar and cheater but hey, you already know that, don't you?!"

There is NOTHING in the world like peace and not worrying what someone else is doing when s/he isn't with us.

Monica

"I have all I've waited for and I could not ask for more"

Great story Tracie.

In my case, when I think of them (which isn't very often), I think of the collective mess they have - and then I feel how clear the atmosphere has become since I got out and away from living with a pathological liar.

To be sure, that behavior does not stop when they switch partners.

RW

Loved the story ....thank you!

~ CAL
"You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection" ~ Buddha