I have lifted this from Jean150's member post, because it is probably one of the wisest things I've ever read.
>>I think it comes down to this: if you’re going through hell, keep going. Rest if you must, but don’t let fear hold you back. Get counsel from wise people. God offers hope.<<
Fear of new/unknown things sometimes paralyzes me, and sometimes I just plow through it because it's never quite as bad as my imagination leads me to believe it MIGHT be.
My mother had one of those little handpainted plaques over her kitchen sink for years (given to her by one of her sisters, who knew she was very anxious about things she couldn't control):
"By the yard, life is hard.
By the inch, life's a cinch."
I get up and face one day at a time right now. And, to borrow the theme of RW's thread about dis-engaging, I simply refuse to worry about my ex's problems or problems that the ex thinks SHOULD be important to me.
>>I simply refuse to worry about my ex's problems or problems that the ex thinks SHOULD be important to me<<
Another quotable quote. That was one of the keys to disengaging for me, Chris. I was surprised by the effect on my X's behavior, of refusing to get involved with her problems (although that was not the reason that I tried to stop engaging). For awhile, she called me whenever the hot water heater was acting up or whenever she had car troubles ... etc. I learned to keep on hand the telephone numbers of reliable plumbers, electricians, wrecker services, mechanics, etc. Those may have been "little things" but the little things seemed to add up.
There are still some other areas that I haven't cleaned up completely. Family finances is one of them. I've been thinking that the courts would take care of that but now that my fourth trial date has been cancelled (this time by the judge), I suspect I may need to take care of bidness my own self.