Heard this yesterday, and oh how I wish I'd have heard this to say to the ex (or scream at him):
"Your actions speak so loud, I can't hear what you are saying"
You know, it's cliche- but actions DO speak louder than any words I've ever heard.
This is something my ex never understood- he could SAY he loved me, he cared about me, he wanted 'good' for me- but what he DID was the direct opposite of those things.
I'm at a crossroads with the ex- so to speak. We are no longer together, and haven't been since November of 2003. Yet, he finds ways to interject into my life- and I'm somehow clueless as to how to stop it. Refusing to talk to him only makes him try harder. Ignoring him makes him try harder. Actually talking to him only brings things back up to the surface and upsets me.
I think now I realize that he loved me as much as HE was capable. Not as much as I would have liked, but still. He has issues that he won't even acknowledge he has. He actually said to me TODAY that one day, we'll be two old people rocking on the porch wondering how we ever made it.
What?! I have never so much as given a hint that I'd even be willing to consider us getting back together. Yet, this is how he is- assuming. It blows my mind.
Tracie, if you keep "engaging" with him...he will think that.
So what if he keeps trying? If your decision is "he's out of my life", make it stick...or let him back in. Don't "engage" (and allow him to think your actions mean you're letting him back in).