... and it will be FILED next week. My divorce is REALLY upon me.

I have to say, it hit me in a way I was not prepared for.

Tuesday night, I was walking the dog (GOOOOORGEOUS day here, in the high 70s!) and my phone rang - it was STBXH. He says, "I'll be by at 8 with the papers." I didn't even know WHAT papers he was talking about, let alone have time to prepare for seeing "Petition for Dissolution of Marriage" written on them along with both of our names. I LOST it. Darling husband was SO comforting... NOT. "It's just a piece of paper! Why do you have to have someone ELSE look over them? Just sign the damned thing!" (We decided to get one lawyer, split the cost since we already divided everything and have no kids to fight about). He absolutely FELL out and stormed out of the house after I told him, "I need a minute to look at these and catch my breath! If you don't understand that, get the F**K out of MY house!" He said, "OHHHH yeah, I forgot, this house that I put blood, sweat, and tears into is now YOURS." I said, "Damn skippy, it is. Now, GET OUT."

He told me later that this has been "very hard" on him too - signing over the house, letting me have my car, walking away from all the STUFF we have here... I said, "ALL of that was YOUR CHOICE."

So, I guess they'll file next week and set a court date. This is another milestone I thought I was ready for - and I'm GLAD that it's behind me.

*Edited to add - He's right though, it IS just a piece of paper for some file, somewhere because my marriage was over a LONG time ago. That is the thought that has helped me get through this. My neighbor said, "Mon, you've been telling me for months you're not married. That is all this says."

Monica

This is your life. Are you who you want to be? ~ Switchfoot

>>Why do you have to have someone ELSE look over them?<<

Because it is the single most important financial document of your life so far?

>>Just sign the damned thing<<

That's when I make someone else looks it over.

>>He's right though, it IS just a piece of paper for some file, somewhere because my marriage was over a LONG time ago<<

I suppose that's true.

>>it hit me in a way I was not prepared for<<

So, if you don't mind my asking, Monica .... how DID it feel?

(I'm envious, by the way.)

Monica

I'm glad YOU got the house :>)

I'm a little envious too!

Charlie

I'm glad that things are moving along for you, altho I know it's really rough, too.

Welcome to a new beginning.

Jean

<<So, if you don't mind my asking, Monica .... how DID it feel?>>

The first day he brought the papers, I was a WRECK. I couldn't even read the papers without tearing up - and not the tears that stay put, the ones who spill over and run down to your chin. The day he brought the papers back to sign, I was in a different frame of mind. I had had a couple of days to get used to the idea and it went ok.

It was just an odd feeling: I spent 8 years with this man - put up with more BS than I like to admit - and thought we'd grow old together... and that all ends with a piece of paper that says I don't even have to appear in court! (I waived my right to be there with the knowledge that they may enter a judgment against me) When STBXH threw such a fit about the house being mine now, I did tell him that if he had some emotional attachment to the house, I would sell it to him at $10K more than I re-financed it for...

To be honest, I don't feel any differently than I have for the past few months, which is how I was able to sign the stupid papers: my marriage HAS been over since he walked out in October. It wasn't this big FREEING moment, it wasn't anything other than the next logical step. I would imagine it was freeing for him, since he's moved in w/his GF, she probably feels home free now.

The house was never an issue - he can't afford it, I can. I don't want to move, my best friend of 22 years moved next door last year and my other neighbor has kept me sane for the past 6 months - I love my neighborhood. The bathroom that I stamped in tropical fish, the kitchen that I re-painted 3 times after they put in my new countertop (too blue, too gray, juuuuuuuust right - pale green), the porch I stained by myself, the Easter lillies that were re-planted from my Grandma's house after she died... I have ROOTS here, he was just passin' through, evidently.


Monica

This is your life. Are you who you want to be? ~ Switchfoot