What's your anger telling you?

(Besides "life ain't fair", I mean.)

Chris.

I am not sure how to answer that one Chris. Obviously your getting at something lol but I am not sure what...

I read your post on That Other Board.

So what is your anger telling you?

Why does your ex still have the power to get you angry?

Chris.

Its not my ex that is getting me angry its the situation he put me in as a result of his bad actions, and his inability to face the consequences for those actions.

Hmmm this is coming out all wrong. What I mean is that I am pissed that on a whole we as betrayed get the shaft and then continue to get screwed as a consequence of their actions. I guess a perfect example of what is making me so angry these days is you and Q. Both of you have had to face financial ruin as a result of actions you had no control over. I see it everywhere I turn lately. Those that just run away from their problems. I always thought that karma would some day turn on them. But then I got to thinking, hmmm maybe all this pain I am going through is karma turning around on me. So then I started to question every little thing I have ever done to see if it justifies this kind of pain.........nope not that I recall.

Where is the fairness in all this crap. There isn't any. But why do some people continue to receive constantly.......and never give back while others continue to give and give and never get anything back. For instance some people have a house, car, good job, husband who loves them, wonderful kids. Their life seems perfect........they live it and they die happy. While other families there is a constant struggle with death, infidelity, divorce, troubled kids, abuse.

Does that make more sense?


UGH my thoughts are a jumbled mess lately. A friend of mine calls me a puzzle......I think he is right lol

kim hon, i know how tough stuff is for you and all of us, but at the risk of getting growled at, can i suggest at the moment you seem to be focusing mainly on the other party instead of on yourself. i know that you feel they have gained and you have lost and paying the price etc

but while you feel that and continue to live that, you will continue to lose. you cant really know if he is happy or not and if he is, so what?. yep it hurts cause he might be happy, but what better way to show him that your life and happiness DOES NOT depend on him, than to leave him, emotionally.

you probably feel like you havent gained anything and that you are the loser in all this.

but you have gained, even if it means you are no longer with a man who cheats on you and treats you like shit!!! as much as you love/d him would you still (knowing all you know now) really want to still be with him and his cheating???

hon i dont think you would, you are too valuable and honorable for him.

i think you would have preferred to be the one to say "get lost". but you werent then, but you can be NOW.

i hear what you are saying and you are still grieving. get a pillow and punch it and then get away from these thoughts about HIM that are dragging you down and get into some thoughts about YOU.

he left because he is a prick, nice guy maybe, but he treated you like a prick - you dont deserve that. you didnt deserve it then and you certainly dont deserve it now.

hope my comments have made you think. i am sure if you i wrote what you did and you were responding you would say exactly the same. i understand it doesnt really help when you are the victim. but staying the victim or going back to it, keeps him in control.

you are so much wiser hon

biggest hugs
kath

Yes kath I know you are right, but that doesn't stop the mind from wandering. I have tried so hard to put the past in the past and not even think about him. Perhaps I tried to hard.

Kid, there's a difference between going through some sh!+ and living in sh!+.

I don't intend to live there. When I get caught up in dwelling on the unfairness of it all, I feel sorry for myself for about five minutes. Then I move on to something that helps me feel good, feel positive, or accomplish some real work. (Yesterday I trimmed some hedge, sprayed some weeds, and moved some more boxes.)

Chris.

(Yesterday I trimmed some hedge, sprayed some weeds, and moved some more boxes.)

Can I ever help you feel good, Chirs. I've got plenty of those 3 things to do around our house. Come on over.

Sorry for the threadjack.

What I'm trying to say is...if I focus on what someone did to me, or on what I think is an unfair result...I am giving someone else or some event waaaaay too much power over my feelings and my life and my decisions.

It has taken losing everything that I THOUGHT mattered to discover what REALLY matters to me. I don't care what other people have...good for them. I don't care about what I don't or can't have. I have what I need.

I have reasonable health, I have a roof over my head and food on my table, and family and friends who care.

And I have another chance. So what if it's not the life I thought I wanted, or the life I thought I had? It's my life.

Chris.

but hey just put your feelings down to having a couple of bad days hon.

big hugs
kath

My buddy Dave and I met while at work. He had been hired as a receiving/shipping manager and was sent to my place to train. We became fast friends.

During that time, we would race on doing paperwork, checking in shipments, etc. When one of us got done, we'd announce our time and say, "DEAL with it!"

Kim? Life isn't fair? DUH!!!!!

DEAL WITH IT!

In the immortal words of Erma Bombeck, the grass is always greener.... over the septic tank. DEAL WITH IT!

How? That's up to you. Personally, I start my day with a personal checklist:

1. I wake up... check
2. Feel for a pulse... check
3. Take a deep breath... check
4. Open my eyes to find that I have another day of (some) sight... check

That's 4 miracles in under 30 seconds. DEAL WITH IT and have a good day.

Damn, haven't whipped out that 2x4 in a while. Felt kinda good..

Cory

"Opponents cannot exhaust you." - The Art Of War