My older son graduates from Marine Boot Camp next weekend, and my younger son and his mother are already on the West Coast for some vacation beforehand. I will join them next week.
Question for the veterans: is it expected or appropriate to give him some kind of graduation gift besides making a trip across the country to be there? (He's the first Marine in either family as far as I know, so there's no older, wiser family member I can ask.)
Chris.
ps. My younger son and I are sharing a two-room suite with his mother for two nights. That will be an interesting experience. Got any of those exwife jokes handy, Q?
This message has been edited by chris924 on Aug 11, 2005 8:55 PM
<<My younger son and I are sharing a two-room suite with his mother for two nights. That will be an interesting experience.>> ugh, ick, ohh.... Chris, ugh..... I hope you do okay.
Here's one for ya, Chris:
<<Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house.>>
I know it doesn't quite apply in your case, but I thought it was funny.
Jean
This message has been edited by Jean150 on Aug 11, 2005 9:22 PM
"My younger son and I are sharing a two-room suite with his mother for two nights."
Geeze, your brave Chris. I thought you and your ex weren't on great speaking terms??? Do you think this will not confuse your son? Just wondering. Perhaps he is old enough that he won't get confused as my son's did when my ex came over for 3 hours one day to spend with company I had visiting.
"My younger son and I are sharing a two-room suite with his mother for two nights"
Boy that one sounds like fun. It was 13 years since my divorce with my first wife and two months ago at our daughter's wedding, relations were still a bit strained.
That event was puctuated by my current W giving me the dday news the next day just before we got on the plane to return home.
Here's one I just heard:
State trooper is driving home at the end of his shift and comes up behind a guy driving 10mph over speed limit. He decides to let it go, but the guy keeps speeding up until he is going 90mph. Trooper decides he has to pull him over and does so.
He asks they driver "Why did you keep going so fast? Didn't you see me behind you?"
The guy replies "Yes, but you see, last week my wife ran off with a state trooper and I thought you were trying to bring her back"
I actually heard this some time ago, but when I heard it again recently after dday, I didn't think it was so funny.
-Rob
How about a gift that will last a lifetime: a nice hardbound history book, a camera, a really nice tie-clip, a plush robe with his initials engraved on it, or a gift certificate for a father/son trip in the future.
Okay. So there was this guy whose oldest son was graduating from Marine Boot Camp out on the left coast. So the guy flew out there. Because he was very brave, he decided to share a hotel room with his youngest son and his X-wife. Also, he wanted to keep his travel costs down and he got a kick out of confusing the b'jeebus out of his youngest son.
In the middle of the night, there was a loud banging on the door, and when the guy opened it, there was one angry state trooper standing there. When the guy saw the trooper, he started laughing and couldn't stop. Pretty soon, the trooper started laughing too. Eventually, when he had caught his breath, the guy asked the trooper to come in, sit down, and have a couple of brewskies.
how about a copy of tom lehrer's 'send the marines' song, very funny.!
well i would just think about something nice and symbolic to give your son, a special watch, good pen engraved, so he can write home if sent away, maybe a good desk set, in case he ever gets to be a general, a ring he can wear when not on duty (dont imagine they can wear jewellery at work), a good jumper or wool coat, a brief case. there are all sorts of things that you can give him, that might sound a bit normal but if you get a special thing something he can keep forever, that he will remember, "dad gave me this when i graduated"
re sharing the room, just remember you are there for your son, two days shouldnt be too hard, if it gets awkward, remind yourself why you are there, i am sure your pride in him will override any other anxious or awkward moments. maybe even break the ice with the ex wife and say "hey despite everything thing, look what we did, achieved, we have two great boys we can be proud of!" that might deflect any anxiety she might also be feeling.
we might divorce our partners, but we dont divorce our kids and we dont divorce our memories of their childhoods or their achievements, they are still there to be celebrated - so do that
She had an inappropriate emotional entanglement (multiple daily cellphone calls to his home, work, cell, or pager starting as soon as she left the driveway, during the day, and after work) with at least one more single cop near the end of the marriage.
I have only one trigger in conjunction with my ex. "Cop" is it.
Chris.
ps. My son is fairly perceptive. He understands that both parents are on extremely limited budgets (i.e. broke). He has been told clearly by me that getting back together ain't happening. I think everyone understands that this is a "hold your nose and do it anyway" necessity.
It will be interesting to see whose room he shares. LOL.
Thanks for all the supportive comments and ideas. There was one idea I had all on my own. At a neighborhood art fair early this summer there was a quilt artist who had some patriotic-themed "hanging" quilts on display. I didn't have cash with me; she had one in stars and stripes with a rendering of the Twin Towers that would have been perfect. (According to my older son, 9/11 is the reason he signed up with the Marines.) I hope I still have the artist's card.
First of all my congratulations on your son graduating from Marine Boot Camp. I know how proud you must be of him. How about a nice Hallmark Card, and inside written to him how very proud of him you are and maybe enclose a small pin so he can keep it with him. Pin would say how proud of him you are. A memento he can carry with him. Is this too corny sounding? I have a tendency to go overboard on these things. Try to have a nice time, your son will remember this all his life. This is experience talking since I have just sent two sons out into the world.
A compass engraved with his graduation date and a note that says something like:
No matter where you are, may you always find your way home.
I thought that was nice and shouldn't be to expensive if you have a "Things Remembered" store in your local mall.
Cynthia
Chris
I'm so sorry about the cop joke. Not funny when it's a trigger like that. I just had a conversation with my WS this afernoon re the cellphone plan I still pay for and that was all it too to trigger me into a bout of crying that I haven't had in over a week. I thought I was doing pretty well.
Oh well. I sure hope the graduation goes well. Your son will surely appreciate your time and love most of all. -Rob
At this point, I'm not overly triggered. It's more of a "that ain't funny" than a screaming reminder, if you get my point. It's tough to go through life without hearing cop stories and cop jokes.
LOL. After all that...the plane sat on the taxiway for an hour after the "official" departure time.
And the karma bus came back to MSP on Sunday. I was scheduled to have about an hour and a half in your fair city, but the plane from the coast got in early. And of course, the plane back home was delayed several times...so I got my 3.5 hours in MSP and then some.
Chris.
ps. The weekend was terrific. We had a good time with my older son, and staying on a Marine base was a trip. My ex and I managed not to fight, mostly because we didn't talk much.
I also got to show my younger son where I lived, where I went to school, where I hung out when I was 15. And we had lunch overlooking the Pacific Ocean on Saturday, something the two of us agreed we'd remember for a long time. Plus, I got to see a very long-time friend again (met him when I was 12) who lives in So. Cal...we only have a chance to see one another every few years now.
