<<<<I am in limboland waiting to see if H will get the counciling that he says he is ready to get.Waiting to see if he can be an honest man ...>>>

I know what limboland is. I know how destructive and painful the wait can be... I have been there. However came a day when I could no longer accept the situation, when I needed for ME to do 'something' and I did. That day I reclaimed my life ! That day I started to focus on my self... not the crazy making situations - That day I started a 'new' life, I let go physically and emotionally. I did not need a husband to make myself whole. I needed to nuture my broken self-esteem, to see myself for what I was and not what I had become. I took charge. I took charge of my life, I was thru 'waiting' for what ever... I had given as much as I could. I had nothing else to give.

And as difficult, painful, excruciatingly so, I closed my door and did not look back.

We now have an inter-dependent relationship.

And to continue since I was interrupted (lol)my H's career has him out of the house more than ever lately. I cannot depend on him being around when my car gets sick, when the A/C compressor blows up, when, when, when.... I can vent to him on the phone but there is nothing he can do being hundreds of miles away except commissurate with me,and trust my judgement. Not that I would not like to have someone to take care of me so to speak, but then it would be up to me to find this person.... and further I am far too independent LOL LOL

What I am trying to convey to you, Barb, albeit badly is it is up to you whether you are going to wait... or whether you are going to live your life to the best of your abilities without outside expectancies.

And as you walk you make your path Kat

Thanks! I am still waiting but am at least trying to detatch some.I told him last nite not to call me anymore.If he gets counciling & figures himself out then I would like to work on the marriage.I guess I'm not ready to give up yet.So, that is where things stand now.He says he wants us to be together again & have a good marriage & that is why he is going to go to counciling & figure things out.This could be more bull or maybe he has finally started to come out of the fog. I don't know.He'll have to prove it.His words don't mean anything anymore because they have not been backed up by actions.So, I just need to concentrate on the kids, the daycare & myself. Can't do much else right now.

LET GO

Author unknown

To “let go” does not mean to stop caring,
It means I can’t do for someone else.

To “let go” is not to cut myself off,
It’s the realization I can’t control another.

To “let go” is not to enable,
But to allow learning from natural consequences.

To “let go” is to admit powerlessness,
Which means the outcome is not in my hands.

To “let go” is not to try to blame or change another,
It’s to make the most of myself.

To “let go” is not to care for, but to care about.

To “let go” is not to fix, but be supportive.

To “let go” is not to judge,
But to allow another to be their own human being.

To “let go” is not to be in the middle arranging all the outcomes,
But to allow others to affect their destinies.

To “let go” is not to be protective,
It’s to permit another to face reality.

To “let go” is not to deny, but to accept.

To “let go” is not to nag, scold, or argue,
But instead to search out my own shortcomings and correct them.

To “let go” is not to adjust everything to my desires,
But to take each day as it comes and cherish myself in it.

To “let go” is not to criticize and regulate everybody,
But to try to become what I dream I can be.

To “let go” is not to regret the past,
But to grow and live for the future.

To “let go”
Is to fear less and love more.


And as you walk you make your path Kat