I didn't want to "hijack" so I thought I would start a new thread. How do those of you who have to wait the 12 months feel about that law? In my state, a couple can divorce in one day...if both agree and sign.
It has been my experience (I am a divorce mediator) that "emotions are rampant" following DDay...for some couples, it is all about revenge and retaliation...making it impossible for them to make concrete decisions about their chidren and their finances.
A dear friend called me the other day and told me to "sit down"...uh oh.
Her husband of 40 years (she was a stay at home spouse/mom)....not worked a day in her life. Stated the classic...."I love you but I am not in love with you"...been there...heard that.
Anyway, she asked him what he was trying to say to her and he said that he would think about it and they would talk later...later meant that he went to a lawyer, filled out divorce papers and left them on their kitchen counter a week later. His note he left with the dissol. agreement...sign this by tonight.
Obviously, she was overwhelmed and still is. She is shattered beyond belief...had no idea he was unhappy...you've heard the routine.
ANyway, I think that the legislation that mandates the 12 month waiting period is great...esp for those of us who are "blind sided"...
Where I live, to file on "no fault" grounds, the couple has to be separated for TWO YEARS. TWO! Crazy. However, the waiting period can be waived, if both parties have to agree to it. Ex and I waived our waiting period, I couldn't see spending one more minute in that marriage (oh yeah, he was living with his GF at the time!). We had been separated for 9 months when he filed. Two weeks later, we were divorced. I had threatened that if he didn't file ASAP (I didn't want to pay for it), I would file on the grounds of adultery or mental cruelty. If you have grounds, there is no waiting period.
He had the papers drawn up (my ex MIL worked for an attorney), I took them to a lawyer to look over, and he filed. I had already refinanced the house, we had split the bills and we had no kids. It was pretty routine stuff.
I don't think the waiting period is ALWAYS necessary. I was beside myself when I thought we'd have to wait two years!! I just wanted it legally done, because it had been emotionally done for quite awhile.
Monica
My yesterdays are all boxed up - and neatly put away.
Not to go with unnecessary details ( my legal separation in my state was worded in such a way that the only 'thing' I and hence my first H could not do was get married. It was stated we were able to live our life as if we were single without any legal repercussion. The separation could be niled and voided if we had decided to live together again under the same roof.
So 10 years later and some years after a divorce I got married again. My first H has yet to....
Rosie, I'm with you. I mean, if both parties are READY to be divorced, you should be able to waive the waiting time.
Heck, in my state, you have to have FOID card (which takes up to 30 days to obtain) before you can buy a gun. Then, you have to wait 72 hours to buy a handgun, but you can get married two minutes after you buy a marriage license?!
Monica
My yesterdays are all boxed up - and neatly put away.
This message has been edited by PrincessofQuiteALot on Oct 24, 2006 12:04 AM
my legal separation in my state was worded in such a way that the only 'thing' I and hence my first H could not do was get married. It was stated we were able to live our life as if we were single without any legal repercussion. The separation could be niled and voided if we had decided to live together again under the same roof.