Ok...a long... long... time ago in a relationship far... far...away...when young Luke Skywalker was but a young teenager...there was a passionate make out session and an ejaculation....no groping or petting...no undressing...just lots of suck face....
Is that sex....me thinks not!!
(But I can't understand what the answer has to do with Kid being home or not)
Um...your not alone...and all you have to do to be reminded of how dumb you are is ask a teenager...If I had a dollar for evertime I have heard how stupid is is that they can't do this or that....I would fly everyone on the boards to a get together and still have enough left to buy the first round.
TLMM, it might be a sign that you're ready for something else. Just as I learned to listen to my own anger and unhappiness, I've also learned to listen to my contentment and happiness. They've told me a lot.
Ol' Tom set Americans off toward "life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness". Figuring out what constitutes genuine happiness and what is the false pursuit of the next fix of "feel good" is hard sometimes. It's easier when we get our own selves sorted out.
Thanks. I think that most people who have had to deal with an affair have suffered some degree of PTSD,
Couple that with childhood abuse, and nearly four years of celibacy and WHAMO- you get a person who just might be a teeny weeny bit vulnerable- vulnerable to many things, including men.
So, even though I've met some great guys and one who confused the hell out of me, I think I'll just take a breather. Come up for air so speak. Eat chocolate cake!
TLMM
This message has been edited by taigalucy on Mar 10, 2007 6:59 PM This message has been edited by taigalucy on Mar 10, 2007 6:19 PM
Nice thing about chocolate cake...it's chocolate cake no matter how you slice it. Personally I would recommend chocolate cupcakes, that way, you can eat just one...and decide if you want seconds.
Now we are talking about chocolate cake with deep chocolate icing aren't we??
Speaking of chocolate cake, I have a recipe of the best ever
It has chocolate pudding in it, sour cream (I know, sounds weird), and dark chocolate chips and man is it good. No icing needed it is so yummy!!! I'm trying to think of some desert I can take over new guys house tonight - maybe I'll make that. I met his girls yesterday - he is so good with his kids.
MM
I never answered your question, I don't think that is sex either.
I refuse to set a precedent of catering for a man anymore. My full-time job is NOT in a kitchen. So unless he is making dinner, I wouldn't be bringing the dessert.
They say the way to a man's heart is through your cooking, but I have to tell you it has let me down twice before. I used to bake little goodies and things for my ex when we were dating, then we moved in and I some how morphed into the chief cook and bottle washer with him helping a bit. That soon changed to chief cook, bottle washer, lawn mower girl, snow shoveller, etc etc. My ex took advantage of my willingness to help around the house.
"My ex took advantage of my willingness to help around the house.
I want a man who will bring me dessert this time"
Well, new guy has cooked dinner for me 3 x's and I only did dinner once so far but we are cooking together on Sat night next weekend for a group. Tonight HE cooked for me and my kids and not the other way around, I think making dessert was puny compared to his dinner.
I have to tell ya, I'm feeling real lucky to have met this one at the moment. He couldn't be better with my boys and everything else fits into place as well. My 10-year-old son told me in the car on the ride home from his house that I should marry him. That made me laugh! Kids think it's so easy! Even my son with a disability really likes him. They had a great time over there tonight.
Kid
My ex also took advantage of my willingness to help around the house and I ended up doing way more yard work than he did. I had a counselor that told me that it was my fault that he took advantage because I let him. She was sorta right about it, I did too much to someone who never returned the favor. I do think there are men out there who can return the favor because this is the second one who has cooked for me at least as much or more than I have cooked.
Charlie
This message has been edited by charlie288 on Mar 12, 2007 12:28 AM
Does anyone else notice the tone in these kinds of posts from those of us who were formerly in unsupportive or adversarial relationships? There's always a sense of "this is too good to be true" when we find someone who tries a little (or a lot). Letting him/her know it's appreciated is really important.
"There's always a sense of "this is too good to be true" when we find someone who tries a little (or a lot). Letting him/her know it's appreciated is really important."
You know Chris, I'm not sure if you were referring to my post or not but you pretty much nailed me right on the head. I'm wondering what part of my post gave that away? All I wanted out of my last 2 year relationship was more affection, touching and emotion and now I'm getting it in large doses and wondering if it is for real or not.
Can that fact alone wreck and ruin a relationship or can it help by holding back a bit and not seeming needy for fear of it all being a dream? I'm not sure. I think your right that I need to show my appreciation of him. I have told him that I feel lucky to have met him and other things like that but maybe he needs more?
"Charlie I also had discussions with my counsellor regarding the same issue - that's why I won't do it anymore. I have learned that I can say NO...."
See Kid, that is where I have a problem. I firmly believe that if you find an unselfish person to have a relationship with that you won't have to say "NO" because they will be willing to give as much as you give and then the giving just multiplies. We just married the wrong derned people the first time and I won't make that mistake again!!!!!!!!!!
<Does anyone else notice the tone in these kinds of posts from those of us who were formerly in unsupportive or adversarial relationships? There's always a sense of "this is too good to be true" when we find someone who tries a little (or a lot). Letting him/her know it's appreciated is really important.>
Yes, yes, yes, Chris. The thing is, with my BF, he was always good to me and always kind... but I was so guarded and distrustful of relationships, I wouldn't let myself believe it WAS the real thing. It's only been over the last few months that I've fully recognized what a gem he is and we've been seeing eachother for a year and a half! In some ways, he has an advantage: all he has to do is be honest and trustworthy and he's way ahead of the game! The little things he does for me are an added bonus, like offering to drive 30 miles just to empty a mouse trap.
What's funny is that he won't LET me cook for him! I have, only once. He says he doesn't want anyone making a fuss "just" for him, so we just eat out a lot. He's cooked for me a couple of times, however.
Monica
My yesterdays are all boxed up - and neatly put away.
<I'd say that there boy is GOLDEN- A hot damn golden man!>
Thanks He's also offered to drive here to take my car across town to get worked on, come mow my yard, and was MAD that I didn't call him to bring my popsicles the last time I was sick. The mousetrap thing was just his latest offering! He's a good one, for sure.
Monica
My yesterdays are all boxed up - and neatly put away.
So everyone tell me if this is Mr. Hot Damn Man when you can't think of anything else all day long, can't find one thing wrong with him, lock your keys in the car and other silly things. He's doing it too.
Yeah, he's a Mr. Hot Damn Man. Here's what I do, when I start behaving like that, I remind myself that it is endorphins surging through my blood and brain. Those feelings, while GREAT, will mellow out. Falling in love feels incredible.
"Romantic love, she says, is related to abnormalities in the neurotransmitters serotonin, dopamine, and norepinephrine, making it biochemically similar to obsessive-compulsive disorder, a psychiatric illness where thoughts of a single subject dominate the patient's life.
Fisher has interviewed romantic lovers who tell her that they spend 85% of their waking moments fantasizing about their loved one. "In romantic love, we can't stop thinking about the person we're in love with," she says."
Yes, I'm in Maui with my 20 yr. old son. Go to Cliffs Edge Maui on the net It is the most beautiful place I have ever seen. 2 acres of flora and fauna at the end of a 2 mile rd. on a cliff overlooking the ocean.
<making it biochemically similar to obsessive-compulsive disorder, a psychiatric illness where thoughts of a single subject dominate the patient's life. >
Shiit- Do we have to take medication now when we fall in love?
This message has been edited by taigalucy on Mar 15, 2007 1:33 AM
<Imagine a world where everyone is in love with everyone else, and can think of nothing else.
RW- Would you believe that I imagine that all the time. I truly believe that this can happen when we recognize the "God within" and learn to love ourselves unconditionally. I've been working on this and it has allowed me to "let go" of so much negative stuff, which has improved some relationships tremendously
I think we came full circle here, from the big O to loving self.
I was thinking about that comment too about loving oneself and the big O. You just KNOW there's a joke in there somewhere, but I ain't gonna touch it.... ha ha.
Anyways..... Loving oneself.....
I was out taking a walk today to destress before I had to pick up the kids from school. (I just unexpectedly found out more stuff about the ex and the upcoming trial on March 20th and was a bit unglued.)
So anyways, I was out, walking, destressing, actively letting go and trying in my little way to love myself by walking off the stress, and I started thinking that I really have to actively love myself more. I mean, get it out of my head and get it into action mode. I need to walk more. I really need to be more physical. From all the pain and trauma in my past, I've really disconnected from my body, and my body is paying the price. I have taken this earthly vessel for granted for much too long.
Then I thought of the "second greatest commandment" -- love one another as you love yourself. And I thought, wow, there it is. I have to love myself better so that I can love my kids better, the rest of my family and friends, and perhaps in the future, love a man as he should be loved.
Jean
This message has been edited by Jean150 on Mar 15, 2007 11:33 PM
The ice went off the lake on Wednesday, this morning Sunshine and I drove to Cabela's in Sidney Nebraska and picked up some good quality waterproof coats and pants...mustn't get wet in windy rough water as for the next couple of months the water temps will be low, the wind with gust, and the spray coming back from the bow will freeze ya if you are not dressed properly.
Nothing like taking a thread on "is this sex" and discussing the next best thing...walleye fishing.
My mother who is big into craftwork calls Cabela's "Hobby Lobby for men"
Thats ok, Sunshine about fell over at the cash register...two coats, bib type coverall's for me and a pair of water proof pants for her...and a bait casting reel...in excess of $750.
She told me going out the door my hobby was pricy.
What she doesn't know is the coat and pants were her anniversary gift...
