I've been with my BF for a little over two years. We are really pretty happy with the way our relationship is going. Neither of us is in a rush to get married, although we both talk about it in a someday way.

Because we've dated for more than a minute and a half, we are constantly asked, "When are you two getting married?" That drives me batty. Why do I feel the need to defend my relationship when someone asks me that?! We don't live together, we're not engaged, we do have long-term plans but nothing in stone. I never quite know how to answer, so I say, "Someday". We're happy with where we are right now. We've both been divorced so maybe we are a little more cautious than we once were... But, at the end of the day, I don't think either one of us wants to rush into things and really, we're happy the ways things are. I wish we saw eachother more, sometimes, but others, I'm happy with my own space and home.

I was talking to my hairdresser about this last week. She's been with her BF for a year and gets the same question. She said she answers, "Why?! We don't want to mess it up!" I guess I feel that way, too - but it always amazes me that people ask that. What if we didn't believe in marriage?

Does anyone else get that question? If so, how do you answer?

Monica

"I have all I've waited for and I could not ask for more"

Monica,

You could always respond with "Why do you ask?"

That way you can deflect politely. 

If they actually answer your "why" and then ask again, you can deflect again and say, "Why are you so curious?"

Ad infinitum.....

Jean

 

I suppose "none of your damn business" is out of the question.

I assume it's friends and acquaintances who ask. Maybe even family. That probably calls for some tact and humor, even though it really is none of their business.

On the other hand, maybe it's a good sign. Maybe people who know you see you as a "good couple".

Chris.

The fact that I no longer have the urge to blurt out, "When Hell freezes over!" is a good sign, in my book. I'm not opposed to getting remarried, but I'm in no hurry.

BF said last night that his parents were talking about the appliances that he has stored at their house. His Mom said, "Does Monica have a washer and dryer?" He said that I did and she said, "Then you should sell these!" My Mom doesn't really ask, directly, but she'll ask what kind of "long-range plans" we have. I tell her, "Well, in January, we're going to an SIU basketball game..."

Monica

"I have all I've waited for and I could not ask for more"

You could always tell inquiring minds that you are:

"Learning to speak Kleon... so that you can properly greet and converse with your future inlaws when you meet them on their home planet." Additionally you could add "that you had the space shuttle booked for June of 2016, but due to the high cost of rocket fuel you feel you may have to cancel the trip."


Oh and by the way Monica (as I duck behind the nearest asteroid)... "When are you getting married?"


(I had to ask so you could practice the above mentioned answer for inquiring minds)

ROFL!! That is a good one, Dave.

I'm sorry that I'm going to have to clobber you for asking.

Monica

"I have all I've waited for and I could not ask for more"

My reply would be "Why the F would I want to get married and ruin a good thing"...............

Jordan

Pissed but not suicidal.

Jordan

Forever the pessimist...

Monica

Although we've only been together for 10 months, we get the same questions. Once another couple in his neighborhood who are living together asked us when we were getting married and the first time they asked, we said we didn't know, the second time we told them when they were going to get married we'd all go to Vegas and get married together by Elvis. That part was a joke. I think responding with humor is best for us.

When BF bought a new vehicle, his mother asked him why he didn't buy a van to fit all of our kids - that made me laugh.

We talk about it too but we also see some difficulties with fitting all the kids in one house and neither of us is in a hurry either. We also see some differences that would need to be discussed in great detail. We seem to live a bit differently, neither way is bad but very different.

Charlie