It's been a while since I've posted. Basically H & I are R & our MC is going great. H has changed in a major way. He now tells the truth (even told me when the OW attempted to contact her & he ignored her 2 times & she even threatened him because he's ignoring her, lol), his kisses are real (tender), his hugs are strong (passionate), and he is very conscious about doing the right thing. He went from a fog WH to a real H. My H has plans of asking me to marry him again by getting on one knee and proposing to me and then a honeymoon (2 week cruise).
I think the reality of a D hit him hard and the night I told him it was over, he said that all week when I was talking of a D, he felt like death was coming closer and closer; if I left him he would be dead. The story about this is that one night when talking, he told me I am a part of his heart. He said a heart has 2 chambers and I am the other half that beats inside of him. If I left, he would cease to exist and would die.
Yes it's been turbulent but then at the same time, I see it as a tool where we have been strengthened and are even stronger than before. We have years, memories, moments shared, we finish each others sentences, know each others thoughts, intimate moments, held each other up during tough times, supported each other when the other was weak but the most important is the bond of love we have for each other. We have a lifetime together! Unfortunately, it took a tragedy to make us realize that we truly love each other and the OW can't hold a candle to the strength of love that my H has for me. He said he's so very sorry that it took something as terrible as this to wake him up from his selfishness while I innocently stood on the side lines not knowing what was happening. He hates himself for the A's X2, the OW X2, and all the 'junk' that came with it (the OW trying desperately to get him back).
I do want it to be obvious and plain that I did give H PLENTY OF CHANCES to be with the OW, and I mean lots of chances! When D-day happened (and plenty of times afterwards), I gently told H that he has my blessings to be with the OW; he refused. During the last 6 months I've threatened him, I've tried kicking him out, he refused to leave, I told him when he goes to work I'll call the lock smith and the locks will be changed and he can go sleep with her for all I care. He called in sick for two days and was absolutely depressed. He said he didn't care about his job because the only thing that matters is me.
Now we have peace on the home front. We both ignore the OW and H is totally disgusted by her after seeing the truth about everything he's done to me and by his selfish actions. Our M is like in the beginning, date stage, and it’s really wonderful to discover each other again; it’s fresh and new.
As far as me, time is healing the wound of the betrayals. With each step my H is making towards positive change, I heal as well. I think of the OW only in a way that she wasted years and years of her life for what? She’s alone and wasted years and years of her life. That was her choice to get involved with a MM. I refuse to give her the power, she’s taken enough as it is, and I refuse to give her anymore of my energy. So it's been great for me and I have the power not the OW. Just like 9/11 tragedy happened, this is the same. It's my wakeup call that some people are just plain evil and will devise their own evil schemes to cause tragedy and harm but like our nation joined in unity to live in freedom from fear terror and threats, so will I, my H, and we are one in our M!
He hates the pain that has been caused by his selfishness and says he will spend his lifetime making up for it and will do whatever it takes. He said his focus is on his faith and me, together we will make it.
Oh BTW, my H said he was stupid to have put his energy into OW X2 and should’ve put his energy into me. Wow is that a revelation or what everyone? *Smiles
|