...some of you guys may have read now and again in posts that I have a mum who has been seriously chronically ill for a few years and especially lately. Its been one of the reasons I've been maintaining this pseudo-marriage ie to spare her some anxiety given how fragile she is.

Well this past few weeks has been a real roller-coaster with my mum. About 10 days ago she was feeling really fatigued and disoriented and she went over to the hospital to get checked out -- she had experienced kidney failure. Kidney failure!!! Now, my mum already has a serious heart condition but this is new. They checked her in and after a few days it appeared her kidney and blood levels were back on track. Well, this PM she calls me saying she feels really poor again and should she go to the hospital? Well, duh! Luckily my aunt arrived just as we were on the phone and I was convincing her to go and she took her to the emergency room. I'm sitting here waiting to hear from her. She lives quite a distance away and unless my dad calls me I'll have to wait until tomorrow to make the trip to see her.

But I just have a really bad feeling about all this. She is 65, she's been sick all her life. She's outlasted her parents by 10 years -- they didn't live past their mid 50s. She's got the high blood pressure, high cholesterol, arterial stenosis (heart defect), arrhythmia, she's been on a medical cocktail of drugs for years -- and now her kidney isn't functioning properly.

Its just not looking good. They still don't know the source of the failure and what I'm worried about is that there's something really serious going on that she won't be able to handle. Her doctors marvel at her physical and emotional strength but I've just been so concerned about her lately.

I'm sorry you have to go through this kind of crisis. I know you've been concerned about your mother all the time you've been around here.

Chris.

I'm sorry too, Jane. I know firsthand too that it's real rough to go through these kinds of crises as a single woman -- with no strong shoulders to cry on or warm arms to hold you.... It's real crappy.

So. Just one foot in front of the other. All of us only have a certain amount of time in this world, and really realizing that is helpful and a bit scary at the same time, I think. But if you could just "let go" a bit... and know that things will happen in this world that we, truly, have no control over....sometimes we can rest in that fact. Hold onto your faith. And as a Christian (Catholic, right?), remember this:

Everything turns out okay in the end. If it's not okay, it's not the end.

Okay? As I'm writing this, I'm still missing my dad a WHOLE lot. Tonight on the Praire Home Companion radio show; Garrison Keillor was singing "What'll I doooooo.... when youuuu....are far awaaaaay....and I am blue....what'll I doooooo....." An Irving Berlin song. My dad used to sing that when I was little. Made me cry.

Treasure every minute that you can with your mom.

hugs.

Jean

I'm sorry too Jane.  I was dealing with my mom being in bad shape several months back and it was real scary.  She seems to be okay now though.  I'm hoping your mom makes some improvement as well.  Hang in there and <<HUGS>>

Charlie

Jane
It will be five weeks ago Monday that I almost lost my father .

He was sick before Thanksgiving and everytime he was getting better something would happen to set him back .

He was getting better just before Christmas and the furnace went out in their house so we had to get a new one .

Well from that set back he got very sick and got the shingles he went to (A NEW) doctor for the shingles because his doctor had retired .

He told the nurses and the doctor he had not been to a doctor in over four years so if they needed to do any tests lets get them done.

The doctor told him no need for tests and gave him pills for the shingles.

He was on the pills for three days and quit taking them because they made him tingle all over.

To make the rest of this short my mother called me on a monday five weeks ago and asked if I would take him to the hospital otherwise he won't go .

They found out that the pills this doctor perscribed attacked his kidneys and were killing them .

he now may have to be on Dialasis for the rest of his life .

But it was a kidney infection that started all this back when he first got sick.

If you think it will help have them do all the test they can on her these tests were what saved my fathers life .

Sorry this was long but I wish your mother well and will put her in my prayers for a good recovery.

Tony

Reading about your mum reminded me of a friends mother who passed away a couple of years ago. She was diagnosed with cancer, given all the treatments, told to get her affairs in order as she'd be gone in a few months.

She died 15 YEARS later... Wonderful, stubborn lady.

When it comes to being sick like that, attitude IS everything. And from what you've said, your mum has the right attitude. That will go a long way.

Little anecdote: When my buddy was getting married, the doctors told his mother that she shouldn't be flying to Lake Tahoe for the wedding, because of her condition. Her response was, "If I listened to you, I would have dead 10 years ago. I'm going!" Gotta love that..

And yes, she went and watched her son get married..

You and mum are in my thoughts and prayers,
Cory

"When trouble is solved before it forms,who calls that clever? When there is victory without battle, who talks about bravery? - The Art Of War

Thanks guys for all your support, again. I know as I read these stories that so many of you can relate to being in this "sandwich" generation -- kids to worry about on top of parents to worry about.

Anyway, went to see my mom yesterday. They are keeping her in hospital. She is very lucky really because in this environment of cutting back on medical budgets etc (yes, even here in the land of free medical care) they could have insisted she go home since there's nothing they can really do to treat her as yet.

But the doctors have said they'd keep her in hospital and have her do rounds of testing. Her kidneys are okay now but her blood pressure is up and down alot and her white cell count is too high. They think this is what's caused her fatigue and disorientation. So now they want her to do a stress test on her heart (its a longstanding condition) and other things like CT scans and MRI's.

She has informed the doctors she will NOT leave until they tell her what's wrong with her!!!! She's quite a strong-willed person and I believe her. Good thing is she is better while in hospital in that they monitor her regularly, adjust her medication dosages daily according to that day's conditions and she has plenty of rest and good food. She's in good spirits, reading, talking to the ladies in her room etc. And I feel less stressed knowing she's taken care of. When she was home this past week I'd call her two, three times a day to check on her. Even though my dad's at home with her, he'd tend to pop out for an hour or so or get caught up in something and she'd be on her own. At least this way nurses are only a call away.

Anyway, I'm hoping they find the root cause of all this craziness lately. At least then we'll know what to fight instead of this unknown...

Bumping this up to see how your Mom is doing. And to see how you are doing Jane.  Hope your Mom is better.

GT

 

My mom is doing much better. She's home now. She's had every test possible and nothing's really turned up that could have caused what's she's been through this past few weeks.

But good thing is she's back home and she's handling things okay. I think she'll be taking it really slow for a while. She can't handle much just yet and luckily my dad is also retired and home to help out. He's also never been the typical husband of that generation who never learned how to do laundry or cook a meal or clean a bathroom because my mom cannot handle any heavy tasks just yet.

She's just gotten so fragile and "old" this past year. Its been quite trying.

As for me, well, I'm okay. I'm busy at work right now. The project I'm on is at a critical point and its taking alot of energy from me. So I haven't been around much before tonight. I hope you all are doing okay...

Jane,

I don't come around much, too busy with work, but I'll keep you and your mum in my prayers.

I see she's doing a bit better.

Hugs,

Sidney

Thanks for the update. Glad to hear your Mom is a bit better. 

GT

Thanks for the update. Glad to hear your Mom is a bit better. 

GT