I've decided that the life I knew is over. I am no longer a mommy who has to take care of her family. My sons are a big part of my life, but they are becoming more self-sufficient every day.
A few months ago I got my real estate license. Well, quite frankly I can't see myself running around trying to hussle people to sell their houses so I can make money. For me to feel good about myself, I need to emotionally connect with my spirit in this life. I need to give of myself in a meaningful way to other human beings, particulary young children who have no one to care for them.
So, I had a talk with my principal broker. She understands what I've been going through with the separation and with my son.
Get to the point Emersom! I am going to put my house on the market, sell my car, and travel for six months. When I get back I am going to see about being a foster parent, then maybe adopt a child from a third world war-torn country. I have wanted to do this for years. I'm 51 years old, and I need to make the rest of my life count and to be fulfilled.
My H will think I'm crazy, but that's OK. It's MY LIFE.
The hability to listen when opportunity knocks - that's luck...
In my younger years (lol) and even now I am a risk taker... most often than none those "risks" ended up being the best choices I made. To this day, I am the one who wants to peek around the corner... you never know until you do it, right?
MM, go with your dreams... be a 'risk' taker...
I aplaud you for wanting to give a child a home, your heart, your life.... however I can tell you there is a number of children in the US who need you, not just the ones from a third world country.
(remember, dear, this is my area of "expertise)
Happy trails, Emmerson..... go for it!!!!
I want to add: there will always be a light in our window for you, were you to find yourself in NC...
And as you walk you make your path Kat
This message has been edited by Kats7 on Jun 12, 2005 12:53 PM
Good luck with those decisions, MM. They sound pretty darn good to me. Travelling for awhile sounds like a great idea to me. Also, I have an easier time imagining you taking care of children than selling houses. Not that there's anything wrong with selling houses - breakying real estate is a noble profession. I just have a hard time imagining you growing to feel passionate about it.
Thank You All for your support, and for not asking "Are you nuts?" I already know the answer to that one! LOL
I do realize that this new life that I'm going to pursue is going to take a lot of strategic planning.
What to do if house doesn't sell- lease it?
Where to go and when? Check with State Dept.
AND the BIGGIE- a baby, a toddler or an older child. (female)
I think I"ll visit some orphanages when I travel. I hope that when I look into the child's eyes I'll know that this is the child I'm supposed to care for. And Kats I'll consider all my options.
And if my H thinks he wants to get re-married, the child will come with the deal!
Cory- I'll have to visit you before I go- learn some self-defense techniques.
I forgot to ask...since you'll be selling your car, I guess that means you'll be flying around the world.
If you decide to stop here in Flyover Country, call me.
The new place is a little short on guest quarters but there are lots and lots of hotel rooms in my big city and there's always lots to see and do.
Chris.
ps. My new place is one block west of...you guessed it.
Emerson.
No way, man. I know WAY too many John Valby songs for you to even come close... LOL Heck, I was biting my tongue most of the time in Dallas, trying to refrain from saying something TOO rude..
MM, I'm always available to teach a young lady like yourself to "help" other people learn respect...
Cory
Edited because I could!
"Opponents cannot exhaust you." - The Art Of War
This message has been edited by BlindJustice on Jun 12, 2005 5:34 PM
I would love to join you on your journey but I am afraid if I sold my house and car and paid off my debts I could only afford a jar of peanut butter for our journey LOL
You truly are living Kats tagline and I have this funny feeling it will be the best decision you have made in your life. It will be freeing and who cares if the "retard" thinks your nuts LMAO Opps did I call him a retard......that's not very nice is it? lol
Your sons are well on their way to being grown men, your life is ripe for adventure and you have the energy and spunk to do this. I am so proud of you!
And should your plane ever find its way to Thunder Bay, Ontario Canada I have a spare room that has your name on it. Please stay in touch with your travel plans and details of your journey.
Some of the best adventures I have had have been completely unplanned. Here is hoping you find the peace, comfort and love you search for..........I can think of no better place than in the eyes of a child.
It will be with tears that I bide you goodbye, but they will be tears of joy............similar to the tears that were building as I said goodbye in Dallas. You overwhelmed me with your determination, your gentleness, your spirit.........you are a remarkable woman Marie.
MM
A few years back I had a sabbatical leave (year off) to do research. I could not afford to pay all my bills each month and travel besides so I tearfully, and with determination, sold my modest lake cabin (Friends thought I should have my head examined), packed up my mini van, took my cat to my mothers, had a garage sale and took a few things to storage and took off. Alone. From MN all across Canada and into Labrador, then down the east coast of the US, then back to MN for a couple weeks, then down to TX and NM for the winter.
I did trail work with the Sierra Club, the American Hiking Society, and worked for the National Park Service as a seasonal worker. It was glorious to be free. Once I made up my mind, the rest all fell into place.
It is so surprising how little one needs to live pleasantly. I camped in my van, sometimes even in a motel parking lot if I couldn't find a campground. I got by on very little money...what does one need besides gas and food and a few clothes? Well, a good bottle of wine and a fun pub once in awhile are necessary as well, I found. I made friends with people all across the country and kept journals.
From that time on I have used my travel experiences in the classes I teach to empower students to travel alone. So, go for it, you will never regret taking the risk.
Judy
I think a part of me is doing this to escape. This separation has been too painful. We live near each other, but are so far apart in other ways. I hurt too much to be reminded of the life I had and need to change the scenery so to speak.
I am trying to decide what part of the world to visit first- Asia, or Central/South America.
Without a doubt I'm somewhat petrified, but I've done it before and I can do it again.
Kid- You are definitely adoptable.
Judy- I lived in a tipi for almost 2 yrs. without running water or electricity, but with a sunken waterbed-luxury in the woods.
I have met you and him. I need to say this because you need to hear it. He is HOMELY! Homely English males are used to being with very attractive women. I noticed this phenomenon when I lived in England for about a year. Gorgeous women with very ugly men. I don't get it but it is true.
The problem is that you start to believe that is all you are worth. I've met you, Miz...You are still hotter that he will ever be. He is not anything to write to anyone about...I think that is his problem and he knows it on some level.
That problem is not yours anymore. Find yourself someone who appreciates that wonderful, soulfull humor of yours and dump his sorry ass. Find someone who has confidence in himself. (I'm projecting hugely here, but that does not mean it doesn't apply to you.
When I was at your home, I saw him sizing me up. I also saw him understanding it was ridiculous. He did that with me knowing I was your BAN buddy. He will always be that way. You deserve better!
Portland is right there. It is a great city full of right (not a political point), full minded, people. I wish I could be on that coast with you.
Well hello!!! A lot of people here will be glad to see you!!
Even though your post has some truth to it, it was DAMN FUNNY!
We'll see what happens concerning men in the future. Right now, I just don't see myself with anyone, no matter what country they may be from. I'm OK with that.
Come on out and visit. Better yet, let us all know how you're doing. Quinn, Rose, Chris, Cory would all love to hear from you.
WOOOOOOOOOW!! What big steps! Each of them, independently, is a big move - and you're tackling all of them!? YOU GO!!
You're a brave, brave woman. There are SO many kids out there that need exactly what you can give them. I'm starting foster parenting classes next month. We'll be together in spirit!
I'm in awe. You've got BIG ONES, MM.
BEST of LUCK to you!!
Monica
This is your life. Are you who you want to be? ~ Switchfoot
Maybe you are ready to put on the shoe MM. It is special--for women who run with the wolves.
The body has memory, so the body needs attention. Run. Exhaust the old memories. Dismantle them piece by piece and reconstruct them through your journey.
The physical release accompanied by a growing psychic understanding will bring your newness.
This message has been edited by Red--Wolf on Jun 12, 2005 11:04 PM This message has been edited by Red--Wolf on Jun 12, 2005 11:03 PM This message has been edited by Red--Wolf on Jun 12, 2005 11:03 PM
<I've got so many one liners running through my head (Joe Bob's head) that I've got a headache. ROTFLMAO>
H2C- I'll give you a headache. Howz about I beat you with a wet pink cowboy hat. LOL
On second thought I'll let NM do it. She knows the tender spots!
Catch me in chat some time so I can get your email address and I'll see what I can do about a picture of me without the mess. However, you may think that there isn't that much difference. LOL
Or send your email address to one of the mogerators and they can forward it to me.
I'm going to go file for divorce today. My girlfriend is going with me.
Fri. night my oldest son called to invite me to a Father's Day lunch. I really didn't feel comfortable going, but son #4 twice insisted I go. Fine.
I sat next to my H and he took a picture of me and we had a little chuckle.
I asked him a few questions about a trip he is taking, and THAT WAS IT for conversation the whole 2 hours. I gave him a cute t-shirt. He barely looked at me or spoke to me the entire time. When luch was over, he said "thank you guys," and walked to the counter. I walked over to him and looked him in the eyes and said "I'm not a guy." No response so I said it again, "I'm not a guy" He said, " I stand corrected."
Anyway I am so tired of this BULLSHIT. He has ignored me for 2 years, I get frustrated and blow up at him. He says he isn't ignoring me. According to him, he is just protecting himself from me attacking him.
I'm calling a company to deliver a load of bricks to his house with this message,"Here, now you can build a brick wall around your heart."
I will probably hear from him when he is served papers. My response,
"So you wanna talk now, do you?"
I can't dance this dance anymore.
Other than all this crap I'm having some fun, maybe even a mid-life crisis. I'm selling my car and buying a red sports car, then I'm going on some trips, then when I get all this mid-wild-life crisis out of my system, I'm going to be a foster parent then see about adopting.
I'm sorry that it has come down to this for you. But it seems that you have a good perspective and are sure of what you want. Just know that we will be here if you need us, girlfriend.
that's my girl.....take the bull by the horns and take him down
Go and cruise in your hot little number and wave at the wolf whistles... LOL.... you deserve a little attention... too bad your H does not see what we see ...given time he will and it'll be too late...
Kim, I just love that pink hat...I just like hats, period...
And as you walk you make your path Kat
the gang of 6 is just fine... getting up in age a little more every day... geeehhhhzzzz I do have some oldies, in human years 4 are over 80 LOL
This message has been edited by Kats7 on Jun 20, 2005 7:50 PM This message has been edited by Kats7 on Jun 20, 2005 7:50 PM
