Hi all!
H and I went to our first session with MC #2. Unlike the first MC, we spend the entire session discussing the affair....the history, the details, the aftermath.
I told her that I need something from my H...but that I'm not so sure that I know what it is. I told her that I'm hoping that she can filter out our sessions and help me to find what it is that I need from him.
She stressed to him the importance of complete and total honesty with me...about EVERYTHING. She also told him that he must build strength and confidence within himself in order for him to come to terms with how disappointed he is in himself...that this was so out of character for him, but now this is a 'part' of him (similar to how it is now a 'part' of us).
I said that if he can do this, then (I feel) that he will be able to discuss the affair without getting defensive and frustrated (which in turn makes me insane). I want him to get to a point where he can initiate conversations about the affair (or any other sensitive topic).
Anyway...she also talked about rituals. For example, writing a letter 'TO THE AFFAIR'...sharing it with each other and burying it/burning it...performing some ritual with it to signal the beginning of putting the affair in the past. This was just one example...she said you can do whatever suits us. But the important part is to express yourself TO THE AFFAIR...as though it is a 'thing'. Then sharing it...then destroying it.
Has anyone done something like this? What did you do? Did it help you to heal (or at least was it beneficial to your healing)?
I like her so far. She listened, she was straightforward and she facilitated alot of dialogue about the affair.
Kara
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