i have been with my partner for nearly 3 y and we have had a very tough ride with one thing and another. but for the last 4 months i have suspected he is cheating on me. the promblem is he works away and i cant just turn up and find out. he is always so funny about his phone ,he has a lock on it and takes it everywhere,even when he has a shower.when he is home u wud think we would not be able to keep r hands off each other, but he does not wont to know. i have spoke to him about it and he just says im being silly and says theres nothing going on. he came home for my bday recently and i found a note from someone saying "andy ur my world sorry i did not tidy up before u left,im really going to miss u this wkend".he is due to move back to england in nov and it had ref to that. his response was to say that he knew nothing about it and his bag had been in his office in his defence it was not signed by ne one it was signed by saying loves u lot. so i said ok then show me ur phone or go and he was more prepared to go so i cracked and said no i do trust u and we can work this out. we were going to have a baby in sept buti lost in the early stages and we were talking of getting married he was pushing for it and now nothing for the last 5 months nothing. maybe im being silly but i love him so much and there is only so many times u can ask i dont wont to lose him but just dont now what to do.sorry for it being so long and i dont even know if this is the right site but it was the only one i could find that was not about teens . if any one can give me some advise i wud really appreciate it right now. thank you for taking the time to read this. Bex

Hello Bex,

"Trust your gut" often turns out to be pretty good advice (unfortunately). People often say the "knew" before they really "knew".

I hope I'm wrong.

Quinn

Thanx Quinn i think i knew that really just did not want to believe he wud do that to me and im sure we all feel like that,dont we but like u said i do have hope,if nothing else at the mo.it will get better weather its with him or not it helps talking about it so thanx for responding. Bex

Bex, follow your instinct. You have to be strong and ready for what may follow. If he is faithful, then it will be good for both of you. If he is not, better find it now than later. A betrayal is a very painful process and although i am new this site, I have read their messages and there are lots of good people here with the right attitude.
Good luck
Emerald

Trust your gut. I should have. I suspected something for over 10 years. I should have left without solid proof. My husband did many of the same things. On the day after our 19th wedding anniversary, the OW called to tell me that she and my H had 2 children, ages 15 and 9. Our daughter is 14. I wish I would have taking action to get myself out of the marriage. I could have spared my daughter so much pain.

I agree. Trust your instincts. Similar things happened to me and I "knew" before I really "knew" as they say. I confronted my H many times and all he did was deny, deny, deny. And said I was also being silly. He was also protective of his cell phone! A HUGE RED FLAG!!! I also found a message one day when he left it out accidentally..."Good Morning, I love you". And it wasnt from me. There were plenty of other signs, but this was the biggest by far.

Sorry
Carol~

I called it "cell phone acrobatics" and it was always what it appeared to be.

How was he with his cell before. If the habits have changed, he's cheating. If it was always this way then it's 50/50.

When the cell phone starts going to the bathroom with them, look out.