Wow Jean- I guess I would ask what would the purpose be? To find out how much money he might be spending on women as opposed to the kids? To find out what he might think and feel about you?
I just don't know what I would do. I hope that when this divorce is over, I can just let it all go. If I want to know something I'll just come out and ask him.
But I would probably think "He doesn't give a damn what I'm doing, thinking, feeling, why should I give a damn about what he's doing, thinking, feeling?"
I think you wish to be mischevious and kindof have a little harmless fun, right? Unfortunately being dishonest is not much fun for the person being duped in the end. I always feel really bad for the victims on MTV's Punk'd with Ashton Kutcher and I don't watch it anymore (seen two episodes and that was enough). He plays some really mean pranks on people, all in the name of fun.
Could it be revenge? He was really cruel to you Jean, I know. But do you really want to stoop to his level? I suspect you would feel horrible about it eventually. I say leave it alone and move on. You are better than that
I will admit that at one time, I would have. I can also admit that at one time, I seriously thought about putting rat poison in his food too.
But today I can honestly say that I wouldn't. I simply just don't care anymore. It wouldn't change anything, it wouldn't give me back one minute of the time I've already wasted on him, so what could he possibly say that would make a difference now?
Nope, this ship has sailed and his ticket was nonrefundable. There are no exchanges and no credit will be given where my heart is concerned.
My answer is no. When my guy and I had issues about his Internet use, I snopped in his office, looked at his calendar and receipts, moved papers around. I felt like a rat and I behaved like one. I can never take that back, and even though I immediately owned up to it and apologized I will always feel bad about it. It certainly did not do our relationship any good and it made me feel like a crazy, desperate woman. I hope I will never again be that possessed, regardless of what he does or doesn't do.
I will admit, when I was in that desperate, crazy stage I thought of answering his personal ad (we were separated at the time) as someone else. Fortunately, that was a momentary idea that I never followed up on. It was then I realized I am very jealous of blondes who are younger than me (his former GF were both blondes, younger than me). I owned up to that and now can openly talk to him about those fears.
First...deception is wrong - you are divorcing him over it so what would make it ok now?
Second...why would you waste your time - take your kids out, read a book, spend time and energy on you
Third...you may not like the things that could come from that conversation. It may change your interaction forever since spouses seldom have nice things to say about ex spouses. Can you handle what he may say?
Forth...assuming he finds out it may start a vicious cycle of each of you trying to hurt the other again
Jean I think you know its wrong, or you wouldn't have asked us you would have just done it.
