This is kind of a question for the mods, but anyone can of course join in and give their opinion.
There are so many good books out there. I have read many of the reviews on Amazon and on the Barnes & Noble websites, but these people are strangers. I was wondering if there was any way to include maybe some of the reviews from the wonderful people here and post them on the resources page with the books? Or at least some way to rate them by the members here? I would certainly be more apt to read a book if it had a good review from someone here. Just a thought. I also figure the book must have been recommended by someone here or it wouldnt be listed, right?
Sincerely,
Carol~
This message has been edited by pizzalady on Mar 6, 2007 2:08 PM This message has been edited by pizzalady on May 2, 2006 9:46 PM
They've pretty much all been recommended for one reason or another.
Everyone will rate those books differently.
When I or another older member recommends resource books to new people, it is generally our way of giving it a higher rating.
As a newbie to infidelity, I recall my incredibly strong reaction to recovery books. Some helped more than others. I threw one across the room.
Not sure if it would read the same today though.
Thanks RW & Chris...knowing they have been recommended by others here does help.
RW: I know what you mean about throwing them across the room. I have done that myself. The third book I read was about 6 months after d-day (After The Affair) and I certainly was not ready to handle many aspects of the book. I am re-reading it now (almost 2 years after d-day) and now I am ready..now I understand a lot more of what the author was saying. I am getting much more out of the book the second time around. All in our own time, I guess
'Repairing Your Marriage--After his affair'
That one went flying.
If the authors are out there reading, I'm sorry but when my emotions were raw 7 years ago, that book came across.....the room.
Overall It's not a bad literary work. Very neat and tidy--in the face of perhaps the messiest ordeal a person can endure. It touches on many aspect of male adultery.
It ends with a guided meditation (when I felt like killing somebody!). "Picture yourself rising from your seat to take a walk in the beautiful woods." You're supposed to thank your divine guide--a beautiful being--for showing you some of your fears in the pool as he/she gently touches your shoulder, and then you should gently say good-bye and gently bring the scene to a close. Gently. The final words in the book are, "Celebrating your marriage together will make all the difference."
Ha Ha RW!! I feel ya on that one. I'm so burned out on self-help books I don't know if I'll ever read another one. Except for perusing thru Melodie Beatty's recovery books -- can't remember what you call those books but they're the ones with a short reading for every day of the year.
Another thing that set me off back then was the term 'lover' for OP.
My X referred to her as the 'cow', rather than his 'lover'.
One more comment about 'Repairing Your Marriage after His Affair':
They over-used the word 'must'.
"Obviously he MUST stop seeing the other woman." "So if you ask him whether she has contacted him and he thinks you will be angered by the truth, his impulse will be to deny it. There is therefore only one viable solution--you MUST allow for some contact, but he MUST not keep it secret.
You MUST also stifle your negative reactions if he tells you that she called." pg 77.
