Everyone gives their reasons for why they think they cheated.People have said that most of those things are just surface reasons , not the real cause.
What i am asking is, what reasons do you think my H could have for cheating. He had a normal childhood, played lots of sports and was good at them all, parents supported him in everything he did,no traumatic events in his life , no abuse, all he can come up with is that he didn't have any regards for me or our marriage , he thought our marriage was in a rut other than that he says he does not know why he would have done what he did to us.He has been seeing a C for almost a year now and he still says he really doesn't know WHY!
So what i am asking from you all is what are some reasons to why men cheat if they have a normal life. He says just to get something on the side and he thought he could get by with it, but again WHY did he need something on the side.And as far as getting by with it, he is the one who told me about it, said he felt guilty. RIGHT!!!
What can he do to REALLY figure out why he cheated???
Kathy
Kathy, there are so very many variables of why a person would cheat. If your H has seen a counselor for almost a year and still doesn't know why, then he is either able to snow the counselor or the counselor is not that good or he doesn’t want to tell you why. There are ALWAYS reasons (beyond surface reasons) that a person cheats and it has to do with their character. That is a fact, no if, ands, or buts. Their character developed from how they were raised, who (mostly adults) they modeled themselves after, experiences that they have had (mostly childhood), or traumatic events in their lives. Maybe your H thought he was so good at what he does/is that he thought that he was entitled to more as in something on the side. Even if that is true, there is an underlying psychological issue with him if he thinks that he is entitled to something on the side.
What about you, do you feel like you are entitled to something on the side? That would mean that your H isn't enough for you, wouldn't it?
Maybe our C isn't very good, because he still says he really doesn't know why other than he thought at the time he wasn't happy in the marriage anymore and he had low self- esteem.He did not have any emotional feelings for this OW , it was sex only but again WHY? This woman is such a piece of trash that he would have to have low self esteem to have been with her at all for anything!!He has said that at the time he was bored , but wasn't i in that same marriage and i didn't cheat???
I think it would really help me to be able to move on if he could just give me a real reason to WHY. I know that is asking alot. I don't feel like our C digs deep enough to help find the real reasons, but how can i help him??? I still wish you could talk to him sometime. Maybe you could help.
honestly if u dont feel like your C is diggin deep enuff you need to find a new one .. you have to be your own advocate in the situation ... not all C are created equal ... also not all clients n C will have the same chemistry ... pls get out n find you a new one .. n keep searching until u find one that you think is doing a good job for you ... Kel
I have known a few men who have cheated on their wife/girlfriend.
Most all of these men will tell you it is for the thrill of having something that is forbidden to have.
I would venture to say this is also your husband's way of thinking.
Now don't get me wrong NOT all men act this way some of us are content to have what we have.
However some men feel the need to feed their EGO and see if (other women are atracted to them besides their wife)
This EGO boost in turn leads them to the next step which is I wonder what she would be like in bed.
If the woman gives them the ok to proseed then they will do what ever it takes to keep this forbidden fruit for themselves They will lie ,cheat ,steal and sometimes even murder to keep the thing they are forbidden to have in the first place.
This is what I have put together from watching these men I know who have cheated.
