You mentioned in another thread that you are working now. I'm curious how your special needs is doing now that you are doing that? Was it a hard transition? Who watches him while your at work and when does he get home? Who does homework with him? I am worried about those things when I start to work and wonder how it has gone for you.
Hi Charlie, I had a lot of fears about going back to work so when I decided to get a professional job, I had certain requirements. One was that I would have a home office rather than commute, two that I would have flexible hours, and three that I would work independently. I was fortunate to get a job with that fits all my requirements. I am a sales rep and our product is seasonal so I have a very busy schedule part of the year and light to very light for the rest. I do my field work while my kids are at school and am usually home to do my office work when they get home. My kids are old enough to entertain themselves and even my son can stay alone for an hour or two while I work. My company also matches my dependent care account for when I need to pay for child care, mostly in the summer. My H also has a fairly flexible job and can sometimes work at home part of a day if I ask him to. My mom lives nearby and fills in for emergencies.
Because most of the year I work less than a five day week I can move my day off if I need to go to an IEP meeting, doctor's appointment or field trip. I can also take a break from office work to take my daughter to practice or whatever. If they are sick I just stay home and have an office day if I don't want to take a day off. If schools are closed my company feels the roads are too bad for me to go out on sales calls so I make it an office day. I can even work on the weekend to make up time off if I have to. During school I can use my day off (when I have one) to get my shopping and errands done so I can spend time with them on the weekends, I also do tons of shopping on the internet. Since I do my office work at home I can throw in the laundry or a chicken to roast when I get home and so forth.
My son will do reading on his own in his room when I ask him to, and has been able to do some homework assignments on his own. Homework for my son has pretty much diminished as he is not on an academic track. He is learning basic subjects so hopefully he can get a modified diploma (english and math) but is not at grade level. But when he does have homework I usually break at about 5 and work with him for an hour or so before dinner, maybe a little afterward if he needs it. I was thinking of hiring someone to sort of tutor/mentor him this year if I can find the right person a couple of days a week. My daughter does her homework independently after dinner.
Overall I think it has been mostly good for my kids, they have had to be a little more self sufficient and I have had to let go a little bit. They really like having the responsibility and love being home alone. I think it is really good for both to see that moms work outside the home and are starting to understand that to get money to buy their things takes work. I like my job and am doing really well, they see how good it makes me feel to get that positive feedback from work. I don't have much overnight travel but the few trips I do have (our corporate office is on the opposite coast)let all of us see that I don't have to do everything around here for everyone.
The hardest thing is time management during my busy season, I have more to do at work than anyone can possibly do even working 24/7 so having the home office it is hard for me to let it go so I can do some mommy things. I have to rely more on carryout food than I would like but we live through it. I am working on boundaries at work (as well as personal boundaries!) to help with this.
I am very lucky to find a job that is ideal for my life right now. It is not what I dreamed of doing as a little girl or what I trained for in graduate school, but I enjoy it and the company is terrific with really great benefits. The only glitch is that since I don't work a five day week all year my salary is significantly lower than it would be if I were full time, but right now it is worth it. I will probably have to go full time at some point when my separation becomes permanent but several women in our group have done so after their divorces so I think my company would be accommodating and I would still have the home office rather than commuting.
My friends tell me that lots of employers are more flexible with work schedules and working at home than they used to be. It took me almost a year to find this job but it was worth waiting for.
Probably more info than you wanted but feel free to email me if you have any other questions.
--Rosie
This message has been edited by Rosie_ on Sep 12, 2006 5:31 PM
That was smart of you to find such a flexible job, you really need it when you have kids and even more so with special needs kids. I'm currently thinking about how and what to do from home in the IT field so I can get that flexibility as well.
I have a special needs brother ( autistic), my mother hired college students to come in and help him with homework...some colleges have teaching programs and those are the ones to contact for help.
My brother reads, is able to use the computer, has held several jobs, bus boy in a restaurant, worked in a distribution center, and some other odd jobs...but he has no concept about money...he can take care of most of his needs but still needs some help, like doing his laundry...
I think you have a pretty flexible job...that works for you now.
