Hi Kid
Just wanted you to know that even though my views are STILL the same on certain matters going on (you are aware of what I am talking about) .... I wanted to apologize for my rudeness last night. Was uncalled for... I'm not as strong as i continually try and seem to be. Somedays I am... but last night was not one of them.

Cyndee

Remorseful and NOT GIVING UP......

No problem Cyndee. I understand a bit about the strain your under right now and the pain you feel. Those that are in pain sometimes lash out. No apology needed, I just hope today is a better day for you both!!

I am still here

Kid

Nope.. actually it isn't and unfortunately we aren't able to deal with it correctly because he is at work and I won't see him (and be able to 'talk') until the morning.

Last night (right after we left the chat room with you) he gave me an early xmas gift (I knew I was getting it but I wasn't aware that it 'came in' yet) -- well actually he threw it at/towards me. It is a firefighter emblem (know what that is??). The thing is ... is that on the back of it (which i wasn't aware of) he got engraved - "Never Forget - I Love You". That was so overwhelmingly sweet and loving and I was thinking that it basically makes everything we are dealing with worth all this pain ... and then not 15-20 minutes later - he/we exploded once again and that is the way we are right now. Some civility.... mostly IM chats of semi-harsh/non-civil words.
>sad look<

Just another day at our household....

Remorseful and NOT GIVING UP......

I'm sorry Cyndee. That does sound like a very touching and sweet gift, but likely triggers your husband now.

Has anybody told you about the rollercoaster ride that we live after an affair?

That is why they call it that. One minute your up and feeling good, the next your plunging into deep dark unknown waters. Unfortunately, that is perfectly normal in affair recovery. Every couple goes through it, but it does become easier to manage after some time.

I wish I had some words of advice to help pick you up a bit, but I don't. Just live this one day at a time! I know it is tough nothing about this is easy....sigh

Hugs
Kid