Per DG's request:
Edited to add: “Choking Hazard - Do NOT read while eating potato chips.”
My Day by Tex.
Set the scene:
I'm having both bathrooms gutted and remodeled because of a water leak that was not caught until the tiles started falling off in the X's bathroom. It was supposed to be taken care of while I was out of the country for a month but alas...nope.
Day 1
X is working overnight until 7am (she shows at 8:30). Tex arrives home at 3:00am. Crashes on the couch as usual until the doorbell rings at 7 (shit). Yup its the contractor.
So demolition starts...I can't sleep...screw it... can I help? I've seen enough home improvement shows and demoliation looks fun....and it was...until...
Contractor: The water attracted termites behind the wall. See?
Me: F**k.
Contractor: The insurance co..blah blah blah.
Me: F**k
I call the ins co and y'all know what that means. Call an extermination co.(You pay)
Me: double F**k
So i go through the Yellow pages and pick a company. I finally find it after I start looking under pest control and not bugs. This is their ad: "Total Pest Elimination...Excludes Exs and In-laws."
11:45 Ex to contractor: Can you leave by noon? I have to work tonight.
Contractor: huh?
12:30 Ex to me: Well I'm going to bed.
Me: Do you want me to tell him to shut down for the day?
Ex: No. The more he gets done today...blah blah blah.
3:00 Door slams open to her bedroom.
Ex to Me: I'm gonna be a F***ing bitch tonight.
Me to myself: And that would be different when???
Me to her: Why don't you go over your grandparents?
her to me: its too F***king late. This is f***ing bullshit. F** k this and F**k that.
Me to her: Did you say something?
Now while this tirade is going on she gets a bottle of beer from the fridge and slams it down and she opens it. It sprays all over her face. All I could see was her eyes.
Me to myself after that happened: hahahahahahahahahahahaha
Me to her: hahahahahahahahahahaha
Her to me: F**k you.
Me to Her: No thanks. I'll just take the beer since you're close to the refrigertor.
Her to Me: I'm going back to bed. Tell that F**ing %*(^&%$#$&)# to leave.
3:15 Contractor to me: (bright and cheery) I'm done for the day. Cya at 7 tomorrow...should I bring beer for the misses?
Me to contractor: Yep..a 12 pack.
So how was everyone elses day?
Day 2: Yep its too early. Her grandparents receive a phone call and have set up a guest bedroom.
Tex
Edited to add:
Jean she's outta here in a couple of weeks so I'm gonna try and hang onto the house for awhile which is gonna be hard to do since I'm still looking for a job. She very rarely drinks or cusses so when it does happen its amusing.
