Ok well I have a problem with affection. i didnt know this until my better half told me. He says I dont show him enough or any. Well Im not sure I know how to. When I think I am I guess im not. I need to learn more. He would ask for a hug and kiss and I would make him wait. Its like i want to do it on my time. I like to be in control. (This is only good sometimes) Well i find myself getting tensed or sometimes a little shy when he ask. Almost embaressed or something. And Im not sure why cuz we been together almost 7yrs. well we are married now and he is currently deployed but i wont to work on it so our marriage will not go down hill in the begining.

It's funny that your husband is asking for more affection and not you. My husband was only affectionate when he wanted sex. I wanted him to be affectionate to me as a sign of his love and care. Does your husband expect sex if he asks you to hug and kiss him? If so, that might be why you hold back. I know That's why I did for years.

If he really does just want hugs and kisses from you and you feel a little shy about it, tell your husband so he doesn't feel rejected by you. Sometimes when you force yourself to do something that is good it becomes more natural and comfortable. Those first few hugs and kisses might be a little awkward, but could become really natural and wonderful.

Building trust after an affair is very difficult. If your problem with affection has been with your husband only, it's because you don't want to relax and let your guard down. You're afraid of getting hurt again.
Chris

well wen he ask for a hug its a hug. he doesnt want sex or anything. but i used to show a lil more b4 (wen we started dating). But could that be because we only seen each othere in school? Cuz we have lived together off and on the last 2yrs. but this affection thing was going on b4 he cheated. could that be the reason why he did it(cuz i wasnt showing him affection). Im just tryna cope with what happen and get past it. I know I love my husband thats why I married him. But I really want to deal with the problems that I have as well as the other issues. I dont want to start our marriage off bad thats why i need help with this and getting over him cheating. Thanks for your advice