I may be out of line here, and if so, someone please tell me. But...what's the deal lately with people deleting posts when they become unhappy with something someone says? It's like the child who gets mad and takes his toy and goes home. Can't we be adult enough to agree to disagree? I don't think anyone here claims to be thee expert on affairs and to know what is right for everyone and in every situation. It's been my experience here that everyone just wants to help in their own way. I don't always agree with what everyone says all of the time but that doesn't mean that their thoughts or advice are bad or that they meant to hurt anyone. We all need to just take what we need from the advice offered, and leave the rest.
Yes, we all share similar experiences which first brought us here, however, we do not lead cookie cutter lives. Cookie cutter advice might work for some, even for the majority, but not for everybody. AND THAT IS OKAY. No need for anyone to feel bad if that is the case. If you realize that some advice is not for you or that certain comments don't ring true for where you are in your life at this time, that's fine. Say so. None of us knows everything going on each others lives. But please don't get mad, take your toy and go home.
6) The edit feature may be used to modify or make additions to a posts but not to delete the entire contents of a post. All content of the site belongs to all of its members.
If we allow the edit feature, we also enable members to delete. It is discouraged because it leaves senseless threads with responses to posts that are no longer there.
I am sorry for my actions in deleting my posts, I was in a very bad way when I did that and regret my choice to delete the posts I did.
Please accept my apology,and I will also undertand if the mods feel that I should no longer post here.
You haven't committed any forum sin...yet. LOL We do encourage people not to delete their posts but we are glad you're here and hope you will stay. There are certain occasions where one of us might even edit a thread. An example of this is when one posts a picture and doesn't want it up for a long time :>)
Here is how I look at it. Even when we have written confrontation, even when we have not so pleasant content, even when we disagree, "someone" can still get something from the content, either from the writting of it or the reading of it or the responses to it. If someone's story line bothers you as a reader then you have a choice not to read it, so avoid it. All members are not required to read all posts.
Honestly, there are some posts from some folks that I would rather not read but have to scan over them because I'm a moderator OR I let The PrincessofQuiteAlot handle it. She likes to read everything. I suspect there are some folks that choose not to read my posts too. I certainly don't mind and I don't take it personally.
IMHO, deleting posts due to reasons other than what Charlie mentioned above is normally a cry for help, incorporated with some type of personal denial, indicating the person is not ready/strong enough to hear about their issues yet. Big announcements of "I'm leaving and y'all can all kiss my ass" are in that same catagory. I know because I've done both things over the years. On the surface, I did them out of anger (someone pissed me off) but the truth is, I needed time to digest and reset my thinking.
The one thing I've learned about people and their postings is that you truly don't know what is going on inside the poster's homes. You only see what they want you to see by just their words. In most cases we have no idea what the other spouse's or EX's side is like. Like any other walk of life, people build credibility here with their words, their personal growth.
As one of the first members of this website, I'm proud to say that we promote the truth in posting (tM) here. We don't hand out huggie brackets and huggie bars at the door when you arrive. The majority of the people here will give it to you straight, not dripping with sugar and molasses. They can only give it to you straight based on what you, the posters, are willing to reveal and if you are representing your situation in truth to the best of your ability. We are not going to coddle you although we are compassionate people. We may from time to time prod you to move if we see that you are stuck. I have prod marks all over my ass, BTW. We will encourage you when you are moving in YOUR (good) direction of choice. We are here to support each other. That's it. That's all we can do.
I'm off my soap box now. I'm returning you to your normal programming.
This message has been edited by hurt2core on Dec 5, 2006 9:18 AM
H2C has hit on something important. He and I each express from time to time the notion that our own progress was the result of being prodded over a period of time. I've got plenty of 2x4 marks upside my head.
The main point is, we each had to choose our own speed and direction, but we also used the trust we built here to gain more self-knowledge and heal ourselves.
This ain't about what goes on in my house, or between me and my (ex-)spouse, folks. It's about what goes on between my ears. If what I post here isn't the whole story or shades the truth, the big deal is that I'm lying to myself first and then to everyone else. If what I write or say doesn't reflect "how things really are", then that's on me. If others take me at my word and I don't like the response, "yabut" isn't the right way to deal with it.
And further, if fifteen people all see what I've written the same way and tell me my thinking is screwed up, then I've got some work to do...and it ain't convincing those fifteen people that things are really okay despite what I said or did. The work is between my ears, figuring out why I think it's okay when it's clearly not.
It takes a lot to face anyone and say, yes, folks, I was wrong. And to stop there without justifying or explaining or saying "I did it because...".
But that's the goal. This is a SELF-HELP website, with lots of tour guides.
Chris.
This message has been edited by chris924 on Dec 5, 2006 8:48 PM
