Not to threadjack the other thread, but something I've been thinking about lately.

<I did not want to get married again ... I was happily single for 10 years, lived in 'glorious sin' for 4 with the T-man. He was the one who wanted to get married >

Oh good, maybe there's hope for me... My BF has been talking more and more about moving in together and getting married (not sure in what order!). It scares the crap out of me. Honestly. It makes my heart race (and not in a good way!), it makes me anxious.

I am completely loving having my own space. I love that I come home and have a baked potato or cereal for dinner and watch "Top Chef" marathons. It's not that I don't love him like crazy because I do. I think he's better to me than I always deserve. I think he's perfectly suited for me because he's as laid back as I am NOT laid back. He's a go with the flow person, I'm a list maker and planner (shush, GT!). He's a "let's go on vacation and do nothing for a week" guy and I'm a "let's make an itinerary for each day and see EVERYTHING" girl. I never want to be without him.

Kat, what changed it for you? I'm thinking about seeing my C again to figure out what I'm dragging my feet about. I don't WANT to be old and alone and I damn sure don't want to be the crazy cat lady!

Monica

My yesterdays are all boxed up - and neatly put away.

Monica...

If it is causing you that much angst and stress then maybe it is something you just aren't ready for. Don't rush.....if he loves you he will wait.

Talking to your counsellor may be wise

Hugs
Kid

I remember the feeling of utter panic at the thought of a then BF talking about moving in...this relationship did not last, I was not ready to commit to any one at that time.

As I mentioned I was single for 10 years between marriages. I took this time to work on me, go back to school, do for me. And truth be told, I played the field like the best of them, however under my own rules...I had a 2 1/2 years relationship with a fellow who is now our very best friend - but I never fell in love until I met the T-man !

Once a month or so and for about 3 years the T-man asked me to marry him. We were living together as a couple and I did not see the 'point' of making it 'legal'... after I finish this, after I finish that were my excuses until the day I realised I had accomplished what was on my 'list'. 2 weeks later we got married at the house.

At the beginning of February we celebrated 12 years of marriage and our 16 years relationship.



And as you walk you make your path Kat

.....I am completely loving having my own space. I love that I come home and have a baked potato or cereal for dinner and watch "Top Chef" marathons. It's not that I don't love him like crazy because I do ....

and this is where communication comes in !!! I love to cook however sometimes I'll call H and let him know the kitchen is closed for the day...or if I need to veg during a w/e I let him know ahead of time. He does have his "cave" and I have my special place . We are comfortable knowing we are under the same roof doing different 'things' whatever that is - me reading a book, him working or watching TV or whatever. Our energies are in sink, and sometimes that is all we need. We have an inter-independent relationship and a great respect of our differences. It did not just happened. We are still a work in progress...

And as you walk you make your path Kat

<<if I need to veg during a w/e I let him know ahead of time. He does have his "cave" and I have my special place>>  This is the kind of thing that I'm looking for -- even though last time I was "married" (term used loosely) to a man who never came out of his cave.

And yet,  being the crazy cat lady would be okay, too.  Cats really don't care much when you come home and when you leave....  I'm used to that.  Being with someone who actually looks forward to seeing me?  That would take quite a while to get used to.

Jean